I have a confession to make: I am probably not what many of you picture as a “typical Grinnellian”. I am not from the Midwest, I did not graduate in the top 10% of my high school class, and many of my clothing, entertainment and other superficial preferences fall into a category that others have described to me as “East Coast” (which is, apparently, a vaguely nautical euphemism for “basic”).
Nevertheless, Grinnell is famous for accepting all kinds. And despite our outward differences, I have found that the majority of Grinnellians I meet share several core characteristics: an open-minded worldview, an impressive range of talents and experiences, and a demonstrated commitment to social responsibility.
We also share certain phrases with implicit collective meanings that are not immediately apparent. These “Grinnell-isms” regularly confuse prospies, family members and other visitors who do not inhabit the “Grinnell bubble”, often to humorous result. Are you in the loop? See if you agree with the interpretations below:
1) Cheesy potato night!
It’s going to be a good weekend night. Over my last two plus years on campus, I have acquired various nuggets of knowledge, chief among them this observation: cheesy potatoes are served on evenings that also happen to feature the best all campus parties. Coincidence? Probably not. Thank you, D-Hall staff, for the last-ditch attempt to keep the collective blood alcohol content to a minimum, and to offset the impending campus-wide hangover.
2) I’m from [insert city here].
There is an 80% chance that the person who says this is from a nearby suburb of the aforementioned city, with “nearby” being very liberally defined. While most people “from Chicago” actually grew up between 15 and 30 minutes outside the city, there are certainly a fair share of shameless individuals among us who, upon further questioning, reveal that they grew up a solid hour (or more) outside city limits.
Before everyone gets offended: I’m not saying not to rep your home city (especially if it’s Boston). Just be aware of social context and don’t be a tool.
3) I run into my old weekend hookup/ex/frenemy everywhere.
This is not an exaggeration. No, really. The person who says this has probably had one (or multiple) awkward encounters today, and will almost certainly have another one tomorrow. As anyone who attends Grinnell has likely discovered, anonymity is essentially not a viable option. My advice? Unless this person did something so bad that ignoring them would be the politest possible way to handle the situation, grow up, get over it, and say hi.
4) Grinnell is so diverse!
The person who says this did not grow up or attend K-12 school in a diverse environment. [That being said, for an elite liberal arts school in the middle of rural Iowa, Grinnell should be recognized for having impressive levels of racial, national and socioeconomic diversity. Political? Let’s not kid ourselves.]
5) Gardner was hot last night…
This does not refer to whether or not the concert at Gardner was remotely enjoyable. By “hot”, this person means that Gardner was, yet again, an overcrowded sauna of sweat, beer and bad decisions.
6) The amount of studying and extracurricular commitments I have to keep up with is out of control. I literally have not gotten a good night’s sleep all week.
a. Whether or not this person is under the gun because they spent the previous week (or month, I’m not judging) procrastinating or they actually have a ridiculously stressful responsibility load, there is a 75% chance that they feel like they got hit by the train that (literally) runs through campus. In this case, be very, very patient and understanding. Depending on the nature of your relationship with this person, it may be appropriate to offer them a sympathetic look, a buddy to hit the Bear with, homework help, mozzarella sticks, wine, or various other stress relievers that are limited only by your creativity and judgment.
b. There is a 25% chance that this person is buying into the asinine Grinnellian competition to complain the loudest. If this is the case, do not engage, walk away, and feel free to harshly judge their character.
7) [Insert any word here] is a social construction.
If you are out in town, home for break or otherwise outside the “Grinnell bubble”, this is a relatively foolproof tip off that the person you are talking to is a current student or alum. The level of sarcasm with which this phrase is said will vary among individuals and across contexts, but if they’ve been to Grinnell, they can probably regurgitate constructionist theory in their sleep.
8) What’s an outtake?
This person is either a prospie, a first year, or does not go here. End of story.