If you transcribed a recording of your brain while mindlessly scrolling through Facebook, Instagram, or some other social media website, what would it sound like? For me, it might sound something like this:
“Ooo, so-and-so got married, yikes, ooo, can’t pass up a good cat video, so cute, ugh, did I remember to feed Pumpkin Head – my cat – oops, no, I think not, but wait, I just got a Facebook notification about the online for baby pandas that’s happening in two hours and what’s that about Donald Trump?”
Although baby pandas and cat videos are certainly wonderful, the information we access through social media is often as vapid as our consumption of it. Think about how much time you spend on a daily basis scrolling through Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, or whatever form of social media captures your attention – and accordingly, your ability to interact authentically with the non-virtual world. While I recognize that not all of us are avid social media users, we are among one of the first generations whose attentiveness in our physical relationships is constricted by our virtual relationships – and we should be asking ourselves why.
First, I must confess to hypocrisy: I send Snapchats to my sister every day, minus yesterday, which prematurely ended our 78-day streak. Within the past year, however, I have really been trying to re-evaluate the value of social media in my life, and have been toying with the idea of deleting my social media apps and accounts. So in an attempt to convince myself, I will try to convince others of the myriad benefits that accompany deleting social media.
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Self Love in Lieu of Selfies
Oh, selfies. Why do we engage in all of this weird head ducking, light-searching, and chin-angling, creating profiles of ourselves that we think others will find the most appealing? The selfie-culture – perpetuated by the “scroll-and-like” culture – is one of the many beasts of social media, weakening our connection with our authentic selves.
So what’s the alternative? Although selfies can be a great way to capture those “fire” moments when you feel on top of the world, there are other forms of self-affirmation that are not as intimately tied to likes, followers, and other quantifiers of self esteem.
In a nutshell: pursue awesomeness.
Do the things you are awesome at, and/or do the things that make you happiest. Make time for the people and things that you love – not the things you merely feel obligated to do.
Hang out with people who make you feel awesome – and make them feel awesome about themselves. Self confidence is not simply a matter of feeling good about yourself, but feeling good about your relationships with other people.
Wear something that makes you feel awesome (a.k.a., every cool thing that you’ve ever bought at a thrift store but are scared to wear because it might be too weird). Just wear it. And, if you must, you can take a selfie to commemorate the moment – but consider restraining yourself from posting it on social media for external affirmation. You know you look awesome – and that’s all that matters.
2. Near Nature, Near Perfect
Strangely, I felt the best about myself when I had no access to either mirror Sophia or selfie Sophia. I was in the woods for a week, sleeping in a one-person tent at night and repairing horse trails during the day: hot, sweaty work with a view of the mountains and lake below, punctuated by breaks for reading Malcolm Gladwell’s book Outliers.
With no access to social media, let alone civilization, I lost the compulsion for comparison – and in doing so, I guess you could say I found myself again. Like, woah, I forgot that I love to draw fairies and read nerdy books and make houses for ants out of sticks.
In Outliers, the book that I read while camping, Gladwell argues that approximately “10,000 hours” of practice are needed to master an art form (whether it’s opera or making ant houses). If we are consumed by social media, how can we fully engage with the resources – and the people – in our environment that will support us as we strive to learn, to improve, and to ultimately master the things that give us the greatest sense of fulfillment?
In Conclusion…
Deleting our social media accounts forces us to grapple with this question, pushing us to re-engage with ourselves as non-selfie-fied human beings. Concurrently, embracing our environment pushes us to re-engage with the people around us: those who compel us, interest us, and challenge us.
So, if you can – consider deleting the app. Stop searching for that “best” version of yourself – she doesn’t exist! And instead, pursue the most authentic version in the world around you.