After my family chose to adopt my two youngest siblings, Alex and Lily, in May of 2009, I have grown to learn what adoption truly means for families who have also adopted.
1. You are family, no matter what
Despite your differences in race, age, or where you came from, you will always be family. You will always care about each other as if no one was ever adopted and you have known each other since the day each of you were born.
2. Some people won’t understand, and that’s okay
During my family’s adoption experience, many of our friends did not understand our decision to adopt. Their judgment brought our entire family doubt and worry when making our decision, however this judgment also made our family grow stronger when we decided adoption was right for us. We knew we wanted to find support from the people who could help us through the ups and downs of our decision, creating a growth in our love between each other and our true friends.
3. Your life will definitely change
Adoption comes with many difficult decisions and conflicts. Although you and your adopted family member feel like family always, the known fact that they were adopted can sometimes be a difficult thing for them to deal with. They may have many questions of who their parents are, where they are from, and why they were put up for adoption. However, through your love for them, you and the rest of your family will be able to help them through their questions, even if you don’t have all the answers.
4. You might gain a newfound respect for mental health
In my family’s case of adoption, my brother and sister both can from a home of drug and emotional abuse. Due to this, my sister has grown up with a multitude of behavioral disorders. Due to our lack of knowledge regarding her past, it was difficult to understand her tendencies to fight with us constantly. Now that we are able to understand what is going on in her mind, I have grown to have a profound respect for those dealing with mental health and how difficult it must be, and I have learned what it means to have patience through it.
5. In certain situations, people will assume you’re just babysitting your adopted family member (if they’re younger than you)
Due to race and certain age gaps, people might constantly ask you if you are babysitting you brother or sister (huh?) or if he or she is your own child (WHAT?!?). Don’t worry about it, it happens! If you and your sibling has a sense of humor, just go with it and laugh about it as soon as they walk away.
6. You will learn more life lessons by living with someone than you will in school
Adoption teaches families how to be patient with each other, grow from each other’s experiences, and better understand different personalities. You can’t change your adopted family member, but you can learn from them in a new way every single day.
7. Your adopted family member will become your best friend
Hands down. Without a doubt. How is it possible you even HAD different parents?
8. You will protect your adopted family member no matter what
As I said before, no matter where you come from, who your parents are, what race or age you are, it will always be your job to protect your family at all costs. The fact that your family member is adopted will end up being something you forget about very quickly and only lingers at the back of your mind. You will always be family, no matter what.
9. You will learn what it means to be strong, not only for yourself, but for your adopted siblings as well.
Sometimes, the fact that your family member was adopted can be very difficult for them to deal with. Along with all of the questions of who they are, they will wonder where they truly belong. Through adoption, I have learned it is important to be strong and supporting of your family. Remind them you love them and they have a place to call home with you.
10. You will find the true meaning of love
I admit it, adoption is not easy. You will need to grow WITH your family as one and learn how you each get along in relation to who you are, and I hate to break it to you, this won’t happen in a day. There will be bumps in the road, but in the end, love is all that matters within your family. Never forget that you are stuck with each other until the end, and that is the greatest gift ever.
Lily (10) and Alex (12)