In this article, I will not be personally ranking Halloween candy, but I will be taking a list that’s already made and giving my opinions on it. As we all know, opinions are subjective. You like what you like, and I like what I like. That being said, if you disagree with what I say in this article, I’m afraid you’re wrong. Sorry, I don’t make the rules. I’ve taken a list of the top 10 Halloween candies of 2020 and decided to tell you exactly what’s right, but mostly what’s wrong with it. For your own reference, this is the list: Best Halloween Candy of 2020, Ranked – Top Store Bought Halloween Candy. The list includes 25 candies, but for the sake of all of our sanities, I’ll stick to 10. (Keep in mind the list goes from worst to best).
- M&Ms
-
Now, this is a safe choice— a bit of a cop-out I’d argue. Nonetheless, you’d be hard pressed to find someone who wouldn’t eat an M&M if it was placed in front of them. But, despite this I would not include M&Ms in my top 10; they’re a throw away candy. If you didn’t end up with at least 20 small bags of M&Ms after trick or treating, you were doing it wrong. I suppose that’s why they made the list though, they’re bought in mass and handed out like they’re going out of style.
- Hershey’s Bars
-
Ok, so, remember when I said M&Ms were a throwaway choice, I stand corrected. I don’t like Hershey’s bars. The milk chocolate offends me, it’s dark chocolate or bust. Sorry, but if a Hershey’s chocolate bar does it for you, there might be some underlying issues there. I’m just joking, of course, but come on the Hershey’s bar? I got one of these every Tuesday after my piano lesson as a child, they’re not special, they’re not good. They’re boring, sorry.
- Butterfingers
-
Excuse me? I literally just gagged a little imagining a Butterfinger. I understand there’s a market for these atrocities but I can’t even make it past the texture. It’s like they couldn’t decide if it should be soft or hard so they decided on chalk. The taste makes me shiver, and personally, I question the judgement of people who like these (I’m looking at you Mom).
- Twix
-
I can acknowledge that a lot of people like Twix, but I hate them. I don’t even say this to continue my trend of disappointment in the list, I have just never liked Twix. Going way back my best friend and I would trade candy after trick or treating. I’d give her my Twix’s and she’d give me her Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. It’s clear who had the better taste. Anyways, I also hate those commercials with the left and right Twix, they’re literally the same thing. Sorry, I get a little heated about stupid commercials, especially when they’re about something I don’t like to begin with.
- Kit Kat
-
I swear you’re all gonna think I just enjoy being negative at this point. And, while you’re not wrong, I genuinely also hate Kit Kats. I’ve never liked how they taste, but I do have to concede that I don’t hate the commercials. Maybe part of my hatred stems from the fact that when you actually eat a Kit Kat it doesn’t crunch satisfyingly like it does on TV.
- Payday
-
Ok, I read this one and I genuinely went to check what year this was written in. I would forgive it if it was like 2007, but no, 2020, (something I admit I would’ve known if I had actually read the title beforehand). I’m gonna be honest about this one, I don’t know if i’ve ever actually eaten a Payday. But I really am curious about who’s buying Paydays in 2020 because they’re apparantly so popular this year that they earned this esteemed position on the list. I suppose my Grandpa probably likes them.
- Candy Corn
-
This one offends me for multiple reasons. First off, like anyone with taste, I despise candy corn. Second, I know this opinion is not rare, but I also know this is one of the most controversial candies around. You either hate it or you love it, you’re literally not allowed to be passive about it. That being said, I’m offended that the masses have shown such a positive mindset towards candy corn this year that it ended up on this list. I’m afraid the anti-candy corn crusade is simply not strong enough this year and frankly that’s frightening. All I can hope is that natural selection does its thing and weeds out the candy corn liking gene.
- Milky Way
-
I’m now realizing that this list is exposing me as a picky eater, but come on, these are not good candies. I don’t like caramel, an opinion I can admit is not widely held. But, while I don’t like Milky Ways, they don’t offend me, so there’s that.
- Snickers
-
Ok, so as I said before I don’t like caramel. But, I will allow an exception for snickers. While I don’t love them and would never choose them by any means, I can stomach them. This has to do mainly with the fact that my parents are very uncreative when it comes to Halloween candy purchasing and they usually just buy snickers, so I’ve been forced to consume them for years. They’ve beaten me down.
- Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups
-
Finally, some taste, now this I can get behind. I love Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, they’re a classic that’s actually good and they’re a true crowd-pleaser. Granted, I can’t eat more than one at a time because they’re so rich, but a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup is always a nice treat and I finally agree with 2020 on this one.
Clearly, I do not agree with 2020’s opinions on Halloween candy. I would make my own ranking, but I’m afraid my opinions are too controversial, they’re right of course, but I don’t think the world is ready for that. Of course, you’re free to purchase and consume any candy you choose, just keep in mind if you decide to eat a butterfinger, I will be judging you.