I don’t like physical human contact; I don’t like when people massage my shoulders or grab my arm, and having my hair touched without permission particularly incites me. To be honest, I’m not so sure why I have an aversion to something in which so many of my friends find contentment. For me, being touched goes beyond discomfort. It can make me feel vulnerable, powerless, enraged, disgusted, anxious, physically pained, and generally unhappy.
Source: http://i.giphy.com/mSNAe0YAKs85G.gif
Naturally, people take this the wrong way. If I draw away when people reach for me, they assume I don’t like them. If I say no when people offer to do my hair, they think I’m ungrateful. I once snapped at a professor for touching my hair and made a whole room go silent; that class was uncomfortable for two weeks after it happened.
To be a little more specific about why it’s okay that I don’t want you to touch me, I’ve come up with a list of some things to know:
It’s not just you.
I don’t like when anyone touches me. Of course, I am more comfortable with certain individuals, so you may occasionally see me linked arms with one of my best friends, but trust me, it takes time before I am okay with being touched.
Source: http://i.giphy.com/GR4eSMqDdovZe.gif
I’m not doing it on purpose.
But actually, I’m not acting like I don’t like to be touched so I can appear quirky or cute or funny, I really just genuinely do not like it. And there’s nothing quirky or cute or funny about that.
Source: http://i.giphy.com/5niPC8hps5s7C.gif
Don’t touch me just to see how I’ll react.
Why would anyone even do this? Basic rule, don’t be a d***. Don’t try to test my reaction because I will not react well; I’ll get angry, upset, and deeply bothered. I have snapped before, even at professors. Don’t do something that you know will affect me negatively just for kicks and giggles.
Source: http://i.giphy.com/d9qvdogAy3Ofe.gif
It doesn’t mean I hate you.
I promise. I can like you just as much without being touchy.
Source: http://i.giphy.com/sUau0hFGsd2BG.gif
Just respect me.
If I don’t like being touched, you shouldn’t touch me; it’s that simple. Respect that not everyone has the same level of physical comfort with other people, and sometimes, being touched without permission can be traumatic or induce flashbacks. For me, it goes beyond just not liking touch; it can ruin my whole day.
That doesn’t mean I never give hugs. You just have to give me time.