This past week, I traveled to Paris, Berlin, and Amsterdam. Which the list sounds interesting, but what makes the journey impressive in my opinion is that I traveled to three major cities with all my contents in my backpack (a “light packer” was never in my vocabulary prior). Each city felt completely different like it should. The languages are different, the food is different, and each culture values something differently. Even in the United States, each city feels completely different, but your own personal self never truly changes for good. Right?
There was one consistent theme during the entire trip and it was one of the most painful experiences I’ve had in a while. It first began in the Louvre when quite a few sections of the museum were closed, I did not think too much of it at the time. I mean I did spend about 5 hours there, so I was content with knowing that I would not see everything. But then in Museum D’Orsay, a section with a few major paintings I have only dreamed of were barracked for renovations. I was able to catch a few glimpses behind a glass wall. The bad luck of renovations continued to the Palace of Versailles as the exterior and a wing were being refurbished. I thought that restorations were just a French thing…I was proved wrong. While I was in Berlin, the Pergamon Museum was closed. Which I’m sure every person traveling to Berlin could care less about Pergamon, but since that was one of the top reasons why I wanted to visit Berlin, I felt like a child watching Mickey Mouse close the gates to Disney World. And, of course, in Amsterdam numerous paintings were taken out of the Vincent Van Gogh museum. I had a blast over the course of the past week, but I did not see everything I imagined I would. I am completely aware of how nerdy I sound. I mean the major stereotype of an American student studying abroad may consist of the words: easy, drunk, or oblivious. Usually not of a student getting teary eyed as she looks at a Degas painting that partly inspired her to be who she is now or truly being saddened by the fact that a replica of a structure was closed. Part of me feels like I have seen things that I never thought I would at such a young age, but then the absence of the Pergamon haunts my mind.
I sometimes wonder who I would be like if my livelihood did not surround art, and honestly, I have no idea. Regardless of the city, I am still that person who stops to read every sign and bites at the chance to spit out absolutely useless facts if the opportunity arises. They say you usually “find” yourself while studying abroad. I’m not sure I’m exactly finding myself. What does “finding yourself” truly mean anyway? The last time I checked I was never actually lost, I know what I like and what I don’t. If this trip was to determine how I would “find” myself I would be concerned for my clearly unlucky self. I do not want to completely change because of the city or country, I am still my old self. The old self that still dreams of seeing The Pergamon Museum.