So this is the end. I like to think my last week in Aix went out with a bang. I tended to just do whatever I wanted to after my finals were done. Today, two of my friends and I hiked the Mt. Saint Victoire again. But this new path we took was no simple task. I was unaware that I would end up scaling rocks in order to get to the top of the mountain. I am convinced that I will have a nasty bruise on my knee from when I was attempting to climb, but I am too afraid to look at it right now. Once we got to the absolute top of the mountain, it became very windy. The actual look out point was small, and one quick slip would have been bye-bye, Erica. Luckily no one was around because I dropped to my injured knees and began to crawl until I came to the iron railing and I proceeded to cling until I thought I could stand to take a picture. While I sat there clinging on for dear life, I thought about where I came from to get to this particular spot, not just the actual climb, but how I traveled to Aix and made a life for myself. As I sat on top of the mountain I realized that whatever chapter I flip to in my life next. It will never go as planned, but that is just the way I want it. If life went exactly as planned, there would be no surprises, no fun, and no love. I looked far in the distance because that’s where my future lies and I just have to climb a few more mountains to get there. Needless to say the descent down the mountain turned to me sliding down some rocks because it was raining and the rocks were super slippery…but I had fun anyway. I spent the rest of the time cracking the same jokes about how my friends will get old and AARP before I will, I guess things never change.
I am not sure I have the exact words to describe the entire experience, but here it goes anyway. When I was flying into Marseilles back in January. I was struck with the thought that, I was going back to the “old world”, the world my ancestors specifically left to find new opportunities in the United States. And my journey would be in reverse, I was going to find new opportunities, and I asked myself why. Why would I go back to the land that clearly did not create an environment for my own family members and what would there be for me? Now I know the times has changed and the countries are not feudal societies anymore and Europe has changed in the last few centuries. But I think it’s interesting that most American students study in Europe, the land where the majority of our family members left. We seek out new chances. I like to think I have. I saw places I always dreamed of doing ever since I was a little girl building a café for my Barbie dolls while watching House Hunters International. I will say that whatever you put into your study abroad experience is what you will get out. The only opportunities you try to achieve will be the ones that impact you the most.
Now going home, I am also looking at the United States as a source of new opportunities. I have no idea what lies ahead of me, but that is quite alright. I think that this entire experience has put me in the situation of understanding how the globe is connected on a human level. I always knew that we are all connected one way, but I never had the opportunity to be in the role of seeing how one county’s decision has the impact on middle-class students in another country. There is a Jane Goodall quote that I have always loved: “You cannot get through a single day without having an impact on the world around you. What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.” I never truly understood the comment until now because I was never given the opportunity to experience it, I guess.
I am not quite sure I have really changed that much, I still feel most comfortable in button downs, still really like York Peppermint Patties, still have a fear of heights, and am still lost with directions. They say, you often change after you come back from being abroad, I quite frankly do not feel any different. And honestly, I do not think I ever had intentions to completely alter myself. I tend to like my wacky self just the way I am.