I think after coming to end of this college career, the stress level that I have is a lot higher than I anticipated. From wanting to come out of college with a job, to fixing resume and trying to get enough sleep to not miss any classes and finish those homework assignments and 15-page papers. Its way more than just the essentials of any other college kid.
Its trying to figure out where life is going to take me after this chapter is closed. For the past four plus years, all I’ve known was text books and college parties. Group assignments and late nights in the library did not prepare me for this. Yes I am excited for the graduation ceremony where I get to tell the world that I am a college graduate, but I am not excited to tell the world that I have no idea where the hell I am going from here.
All the prayer in the world to God and the preparation for the future cannot stop the feeling of fear that I have within myself. How am I going to pay my bills? Where am I going to live? Will I ever obtain the dreams of success that I want and yearn for? I just don’t want to live this life of being in college and feeling like I had everything under control and go back to the life I had before then. I appreciate my parents telling me that I can always come home, but I don’t want them to feel like they have to take care of me. My goal has always been to give them back everything they gave me and more.
I know that I am not the only one who feels this way. Plenty of future college graduates feeling moments of stress and anxiety asking God how this will all be taken care of. May 6 will probably be one of the happiest day of my life and May 7 will probably be scariest. I know that God has a plan for all of us, but I’m hoping that I can trust him enough to let him take control of where I am supposed to be in this world. I just want some sort of sign telling me that everything is going to be alright.