People say “You are what you eat”, but how often do they say “you become who you surround yourself with”? It’s a very true fact that you do become like those you surround yourself with. This is why it is so incredibly important to surround yourself with people who only have good intentions for you. Friends in college are so great because you are able to pick your friend groups outside of the lines of who lives in your school zone and who is in all of your classes. You have freedom to surround yourself with people whose goals in life and energies align with yours. It’s important that you are able to identify anyone who may be doing you more harm than good. Here are some tattletale signs that you may have toxic friends:
You feel like you have to wear your best outfit with your best makeup and have the best hair day. You should be able to not have to be in your best dressed to hang with your friends. They shouldn’t be making you feel bad for having on a lazy day outfit OR for dressing up and wearing makeup. You shouldn’t have to feel like you have to look a certain way to blend in with them. If they bash your vibe then maybe you’re just on a higher frequency than them. (shoulder shrug)
You have to bite your tongue because you’re afraid of being judged. The worst feeling is being excited about something and having your friends just stare at you and not being happy for you. Even if they can’t relate to why something/someone is making you excited, they should be happy for you because you’re happy!! Friends want to see their friends full of happiness.
You always feel like you’re being poured into but have no one to pour back into. If you’re anything like me, you’re the friend that’s always giving and giving and giving advice, love, and affirmations and never feeling like you receive them. If you truly assert that you’re feeling this way to your friends and they don’t reassure you that they want to be there for you too, how can you ever stop feeling like you’re holding everyone else’s weight?
Be a friend to others but also be a friend to yourself. It’s okay to have to remove toxic energy from your circle. Remember, sometimes toxic friends aren’t bad people. Sometimes they’re good people. But sometimes you have to hold your emotions higher than theirs, and do what’s healthier for you. You deserve only the best of friends. Surround yourself with people who will help you grow into the best version of yourself.
May my words be like a love letter to you, xo, LaVonna