How could you?

Is it too much to ask you to look at me as more than just another number? How can you look me in the face for the first time and decide that this was the day you are going to hurt my feelings? This was the day you were going put on a front that you like me and put on the charm with your smooth words to get my attention. How can you decide that this was the day you decide to fool me with the morning texts saying “Good Morning Beautiful” or “hey gorgeous” or phone call asking me 21 questions about my life.

 How can you decide that you were going to give me long hugs and kisses telling me you will never let me go? You just swoon me into thinking that you care just to get me to sleep with you. You invited me to your house and were speaking all kind of sweet words and making me feel good about myself. Hugs and kisses that followed to the bedroom.

The next day goes completely quiet. No morning text, no phone call. Nothing. One day turns to three days which turns into a week. Every so often, you will respond with the one-word text which comes even hours after I hit you up, but I still see you in social media posting your life away. I’m sitting around thinking did I do something wrong. Finally, when I see you, the distance is far. There is no hugs or kisses. There is no “hello gorgeous”. Just a simple glance to acknowledge my existence.

Within that time frame of us being something, it took me to the end when everything stopped for me to realize that I was used to fulfill your sexual desires. All those moments when I could not stop thinking about you went from thought of pure love to anger and frustration. How could you put me in this position of pain? My life was fine before you came in it. How can you make me feel like this? Who raised you to be this heartless and this cold and do this to someone who had nothing but love for you. I hate you for making me feel like this. I hate myself for letting you in my life.

A life lesson that I wish I could forget. You walk around as if your life is all grand while I’m still struggling trying to forget about you. You hop from one chick to another popping off that same line that got me. I wish I could run up to all the females that you even think about speaking to and tell them how much of a joke you are. How much of a liar and careless person you are. I wish I could tell them how you hurt those who fall for it and how I am still struggling not to feel the hurt too.