Frenemies: "They Smile In Your Face..."

We all have those “friends”. . . you know the ones. They smile in your face but secretly hate you.

You deal with them your whole life, from Pre-K to high school, and you think once you make it to college they will simply disappear. Aren’t we all oh so wrong! College is the breeding place for frenemies. So beware who you befriend.


How do you spot a frenemy? You first have to look past the smiling face, and see what type of person they really are. The only way to do that is to sit back, listen, and observe. You can learn a lot from being quiet.

Now freshman may have a harder time spotting frenemies due to the fact that freshman want to make friends so bad. We have all been there. You don’t know anyone, so you befriend anyone that so much as glances in your direction.

There is still hope for all you college students, you just have to be smart and spot the signs. That being said there are a lot of red flags you can look out for. For an example, if they make a habit to only text or call you when they need something from you, they are probably using you. If they talk about others poorly with you but continue to smile in their face it's likely they are doing the same to you. Also, be weary of the “friends” who always lecture you, make fun of you, or put you down. No one is perfect, and a friend is supposed to uplift you.

Do they make an effort to spend time with you? Do they ask how you are doing? Do they talk about more than just their drama to you? Do they tell you when you make them upset? Do they flee when they see you down? Real friends look out for one another, lift you up when you are down, have your back at your worst times, guide you when you need advice, stays honest at trying times, and keeps your friendship separate from everyone else. If someone can persuade someone to no longer be your friend, they were never really with you from the beginning.

College is a place for learning and the ultimate goal is to network and graduate. With networking, you have to meet new people which may result into making new friends or associates. Just make sure you know who is your friend and who is an associate.

Associates aren’t bad, but you do not share your personal business with them - just what you don't care to be repeated. Once you notice the signs of a 'frenemy', don’t be outrightly mean, just distance yourself and don't bother to keep them in the loop. Eventually, the friendship will disappear because they are no longer listening to the drama they used to love to hear. Don’t worry about losing friends, because you don’t want to keep around someone who isn’t loyal to you in the first place.

Real friends are hard to come by, but once you find them they will be lifelong. At most, we may talk to at least five people from middle school and high school put together, which proves my point that not everyone is your friend. Beware of the backstabbers, the needy, the gossipers, the haters, and most importantly the bullies.

College is a time for learning and fun! Do yourself a favor and get rid of those frenemies.

Bye haters!