The Blame Game: Sexual Assault Edition

Lately there has been a lot of talk about sexual assault, and my heart goes out to anyone who has ever been violated in such a way, but the thing that has shocked me the most is the amount of people that are justifying such a crime. I have seen men place the blame on females for why they were targeted to be sexually assaulted. I did not know that what you wear is an open invitation for someone to have their way with you. People will preach, “Carry yourself in a manner where you don’t run into that situation” but I don’t hear many saying to teach men not to rape, in the first place. People will compare a woman who barely wears clothes to a hooker or prostitute, someone who is actually asking for sex and I do not understand how you can even compare the two. A prostitute is someone who OPENLY gives permission to have sex in exchange for profit. A woman who chooses to not wear a bra or twerk at a party is not asking for sex unless she opens her mouth and verbally does so. I thought we learned in elementary school to never judge a book by its cover and I know for a fact that during everyone’s freshman year of college, we discussed CONSENT.

It is actually quite sickening to see people tell a victim of rape that it is their fault why something so tragic happened to them. We really live in a world where a woman is raped and the first thing that comes to a guy’s mind is “Well what was she doing to get raped?”. It’s mind-blowing. How can you not sympathize with someone who is stripped and violated like that? I don’t know about anyone else, but I have never heard of anyone asking to be raped. One thing that I have realized is that some men struggle with being held accountable. They do not like to acknowledge their flawed thought process so it’s easier for them to shift blame on someone else. So for those that think that woman should dress better to avoid rape, let me ask you this: If your mother went out with her girls and wore a low cut, cleavage revealing, fitted dress (not to please a man but simply because she is grown and can do what she pleases with her own body), would it be her fault if a man groped her or tried to take advantage of her the first chance they got? No, because it’s your mother, right? Sexual assault is no joke. It does not come with exceptions because you actually know this person, but you don’t know this one like that. You do not pick and choose who deserves to be raped based on appearance because, what people fail to realize is, people do not wear their clothes for anyone else’s satisfaction or to lure anyone in for sex. It’s 2019 and y’all are still doubting a woman’s ability to come out and ask for sex if that is what she wants. Get with the program! I should be able to put on whatever I want to and feel good and know that no one is going to come after me because my skirt is short or because they can see my nipple through my shirt or because I’m throwing it back to my favorite song. I should feel safe because I know that I never gave permission for anyone to touch me and be able to continue my night unbothered.

Sexual assault goes back to the basics: consent. If no one verbally says “Yes” to you, assume the answer is no. PERIOD.