Bi-curious vs Bisexual. Do Some Girls REALLY Like Girls or Attention?

It seems that within the last decade or so, social media, television, and popular music have been transforming women.  It’s nothing to go out now to a club and see two girl’s drunk making out and a bunch of desperate guys looking to score, cheering them on.  With shows like the Bad Girls Club, Real World, Love and Hip Hop, and basically anything MTV or VH1 related, it seems like “bi-sexual” girls of ALL colors have been popping up everywhere.  But are these girls really and truly bi-sexual or just bi-curious?

First, what is bi-curious?  It is literally what the word implies.  It occurs when people of a heterosexual (Straight) or homosexual (LGBT) identity who, while showing some curiosity for a relationship or sexual activity with a person of the sex they do not favor. 

Second, what is bisexual?  The less complicated version is a romantic attraction, sexual attraction or sexual behavior toward both males and females.

So, what does everyone else think? 

(Lesbian, Gay Bi, Transgender, Questioning/Queer) LGBTQ+ (white, black, latino) women’s perspective:

The opinions of the LGBTQ+ women asked were: that the curiosity is innate and some people choose to indulge in that curiosity.  Long story short: You become bi-sexual once you engage in sexual activity with another girl and like it or you just wrap up the curiosity forever if you don’t.  These women did feel that a lot of these new “bisexuals,” are born because these girls are seeking male attention.   One girl who was truly bisexual also mentioned how annoying it can be at times to be truly bisexual because of everyone (mostly men) instantly think you’re going to have a threesome.  She expressed her frustration by saying, “When I date women, I date women, when I date men, I date men.  Some girls are into the ménage à trios thing but many are not. Being bisexual doesn’t mean ‘let’s have a threesome.’” 

Heterosexual (white, black, latino) women’s perspective:

 All of these women on the issue of bisexuality with respect to men felt that they couldn’t date a bisexual man because they lacked masculinity, but all respected the right to a man’s body.   When it came to women they seemed to think most women were bi-curious because women are naturally more emotional and loving than most men.  However, they did feel like many of these women were doing it for male attention because some of them have done it for male attention and society seems to give women a “pass” on homosexuality.   Meaning, that is more acceptable for a woman to be homosexual than a man because of the concept “machismo,” in society.  These women summed it all up to say that they felt most women who say they are into girls have actually never slept with a woman and therefore just think of bisexuality as a novelty.  

Heterosexual white male perspective:

These men seemed to think that the prospect of  two women being into each other is hot depending on the women.  The men did feel that many of these girls are doing it for male attention and many of them probably aren’t even into girls they just have low self-esteem.  They also did mention it was something they wouldn’t encourage because bringing another person into the bedroom could cause matters of jealousy and “no guy wants their girl to leave them for a chick.”


Heterosexual black male perspective:

This perspective was from one extreme to the next.  One male did not like the idea of a bisexual or bi-curious woman at all and wouldn’t date one.  Not because he felt homosexuality was wrong but because he felt that a woman like that couldn’t make up her mind and would be twice as likely to be unfaithful.  The other thought it was sexy and welcomed the idea of his "girl having a girlfriend… as long as he could be with her too.”  However, both also felt that most women are pretending to be bisexual for attention and many would probably “chicken out,” if it ever came down to actually sleeping with a woman or they would be jealous in a threesome if the guy showed the other girl more attention.  

Each perspective did share one crucial commonality.  Everyone asked did feel that bisexual women did attract male attention but not good male attention.   In fact, many of the men these girls are attracting are men that simply just want to say they had a threesome and fulfill sexual fantasies. So, the moral of the story is that if you like girls and truly like girls GREAT but if you DO NOT just be yourself.