Are You in a Toxic Friendship?

We’ve all been there. We’ve all had that one friend we consider a “friend” but isn’t actually a friend. Thinking about cutting them off? Here are the five signs that your friendship is toxic.


  1. When you’re together, this friend doesn’t seem interested in your life.

This may seem obvious, but I’ve had some friends who never ask how I’m doing, or what is going on in my life. It seems like all they want to do is talk about themselves, their man, or their drama. It is EXHAUSTING listening to other people complain all the time. If your friend isn’t a support system for you, DROP THEM. We all have our own stuff going on, and nobody has time for one sided friendships. Your friendships should build you up, not knock you down.


    2. Your friend doesn’t post you online.

        This one may seem dumb, but this was one of the deal breakers in a previous friendship of mine. She never wanted to take pictures with me, because I didn’t have an Instagram that she could tag, and she said I was too tall to take pictures with... Me being a naive friend at the time, I dealt with it. I thought it wasn’t that serious and that I was overreacting. But it bothered me. These are my so called best friends, but they don’t want to take any pictures with me. It’s almost like they were ashamed of me. I can’t control that I’m tall, and I’m not going to create an Instagram just so she can tag me in a picture. It’s my personal choice to limit my social media presence. She should support that… right? Whenever this friend was around, she told me to get out of the picture, or take pictures of her and our other friends. It made me feel like an outcast of my own friend group. It’s safe to say I was done.


    3. Your friend talks about you behind your back.

        This is obvious. Someone who is your friend shouldn’t be talking about your life like it’s a sitcom. They should respect your privacy and choices. I will never understand girls who call someone their “sister” and then turn around and talk about them to other girls. That’s just slimey. From my perspective, you’re just using me as a conversation topic for your other friendships. Thank u, next.


    4. You feel like everything in the friendship is a competition.

        At our age, it seems like everyone is at a different point in their life. Some people are engaged, some are married, some are pregnant, some are working full time, and some are in school. In my opinion, friendships shouldn’t be judgemental. You’re getting married at twenty, great! But, don’t look down on me because my relationship isn’t ready for that yet. Don’t judge me because there are a few other things I want to do before marriage. If you want to prioritize your career or schooling first, do it! Your friends shouldn’t make you feel bad or beneath them for any reason. If your friend is a travel blogger and always feels the need to rub it in your face, drop her! Life is not a competition, we’re all on different paths.


    5. If everyone in your life has more negative to say about your friend than positive, drop them!

        If your other friends, parents, significant other, or whoever else are telling you that they don’t like this person, it’s probably because they see the toxicity in them that you can’t see. You know how people say love is blind? Well, it is. Your friend could be treating you like absolute trash, but you will always defend them because… that’s your friend, right? No. There are people out there who care about you. They want you to be loved. And if everyone in your life is hinting that this person is bad for you, they probably are.