Being almost a month into our senior year, it’s probably time to admit that it’s actually happening. We’re graduating in eight months. It’s hard to wrap our heads around leaving Georgetown, but at least some of us have the comfort of being able to start imagining our lives beyond this place, if nothing else.
Not the case for me.
If you’re in or anywhere near my boat, there is nothing to see beyond the second week in May 2013. And I mean nothing. After four years at Georgetown double majoring in English and Political Economy and minoring in French, I still have no clue what to do with myself next year. Given my wide range of interests, you would think I would be able to just pick something. But that’s the problem. I’m the most indecisive human on earth and trying to choose what to do with my life seems like the most terrifying task ever. I envy the kids in finance and similar fields who got internships as juniors and entered senior year fully knowing what awaits them after graduation. They’re moving forward and I’m stuck, unable to even begin looking for jobs because I simply have no idea what to type into the search engine.
So what will it be? Journalism? Fashion? Public Relations? Law school? Teaching abroad? Working for the Treasury? Waitressing? Your guess is as good as mine. I’ll commit to a plan one day only to change it the next. But one of the things I try to remember is that I’m not alone. (Or at least, I pretend I’m not). Nor is the decision I make the one that I necessarily need to stick with for the rest of my life. We are so, so young, even though sometimes we don’t feel like it. Yes, it would suck to make the wrong decision. However, it’s not the end of the world.
So to people like myself who are also experiencing what I believe is the version of a midlife crisis for twentysomethings, I say embrace it. Not having a plan is one of the most unsettling feelings in the world, but it is also kind of amazing. We have the opportunity to do things that most people don’t. We can travel. We can try new things. We can move to new cities. We are not tied down to anything and have free reign to wander. And that’s the silver lining. We don’t need to decide right now. Plus, I think at the heart of my indecision is the fact that I don’t want to choose. I want to do it all. And maybe since I’m not committed to anything right now, I can. I can try everything; then I can see what fits. And actually, that’s more than a silver lining. It’s a sweet perk of not being among the “lucky ones” who already have jobs.