Procrastination Guide

Or: Things I Did This Weekend That Aren’t Homework

 

I intended to get a lot of work done today.

 

There’s a phrase that you hear a lot at Georgetown, and probably every other college campus in the country if you look hard enough. Just ask the people shambling around campus with panic in their eyes.

But it’s true. I sure meant to get a lot of work done today, and I didn’t.

 

But all is not lost! My incredible productivity was simply shunted off into another corner. Here are the fruits, in no particular order, of my labor of procrastination this weekend. I hope you use this to inspire your own “productive” procrastination.

 

  1. Bought a new set of Halloween dish towels from TJ Maxx. That place is a danger zone filled with cheap nail polish. Never go there unless you want to suddenly think that you are in desperate need of a new throw blanket and Christmas-themed decor in October.

  2. Made some watercolor paintings. Seriously, art is the best procrastination because you can do it at a table, so you really feel like you’re working. Side point: I am not an artist, and I’m not sure if that makes it worse or better that I did this. Probably worse.

  3. Cleaned absolutely everything in my room. Ever found yourself at the point in your life where you’re looking up “computer deep clean” in the middle of the night, thinking that maybe if you sprayed your keyboard with a little bit more compressed air, you’d finish that essay? Just me? Okay.

  4. Typed up all my notes for an unrelated class. There’s no better way to put off work than by doing other work. That’s the Georgetown way—be unproductive by being productive.

  5. Wrote multiple to-do lists. This one might sound like it could have helped, but the problem is that the content of all of the lists was pretty much the same. Writing down the same things over and over again isn’t exactly the same as doing those things.

  6. Learned elementary phrases in Norwegian. Now there’s language that I don’t need to know for any reason at all in my life. But to be fair, it’s still learning, right?

  7. Watched “SNL” skits from 2013. There’s no excuse for this one.

Wrote this article. You’re welcome, everyone. But now it’s time for me to actually do that work I said I was going to do.