There is something about having a crush at 21 years old that makes you feel like you are a Limited-Too wearing, bubble letter drawing, scooter riding middle schooler all over again. Seriously. All of a sudden you care what you look like, and won’t go out of the house without straightening your hair and at least throwing on a pair of flattering leggings. You walk around all day with the slim hope that mayyyyyybe you’ll run into him, and when you inevitably don’t the whole thing feels like a waste. But still, you get up the next morning and do it all over again. Just so you know, chances are you won’t actually see him unless you are sweating like a pig on the treadmill at Yates or looking like absolute hungover hell. Should this happen, you are more than likely going to hide behind a trash can and curse yourself for stepping out into daylight looking anything less than perfect. On the bright side, at least you have motivation to get to the gym.
You bring this boy up in conversation to the point where your friends have either decided to assist in getting you two together, or resigned that they absolutely hate the kids’ guts. You can hear yourself doing it, but you can’t stop because everything reminds you of how awesome or funny or all around freaking wonderful this person is. When you go out, you spend the whole night secretly praying that he will come into the bar. If he does, you try to walk by him as casually as possible, as many times as it takes for him to realize how absolutely amazing you look and that he is completely in love with you. You wait for your phone to vibrate with a text from him, and you compose flirty texts in your head that you wish you could send him, but won’t because that will make you look desperate. The whole thing pretty much reduces you to some Justin Timberlake loving, heart doodling seventh grader who can’t focus on anything but a boy. You love yourself and you hate yourself for it, but at least it gives you reason to go out looking presentable.
Crushes can go one of two ways: they either work out or they don’t. As much fun as it is to have someone who you look forward to seeing when you go out, you need to be realistic. If you have started to revolve your entire life around (read: stalk) someone who may not even know you exist, it’s time to get a grip. You can only crush on someone for so long before you either need to a) make a move or b) move on. If things aren’t progressing past the crush stage, you need to let it go before it becomes some kind of unhealthy single-sided obsession.
The Five Crushes you will have at Georgetown:
1. The Lau Crush – This boy is smart to the point of borderline nerdiness, or so you assume because you have never seen him outside of the library. You walk by his table pretending you need coffee at least three times each night, and later lie awake cursing his hotness because your caffeine consumption has made it impossible to sleep.
2. The Yates Crush – This boy is not on a team, but is somehow always in the gym and looks amazing.When he walks by, you turn your treadmill up (so you look fit, duh) and try to make eye contact, but he is usually too focused on his protein shake to notice.
3. The Crush who will Forever be a Crush – You have tried incessantly to make things go farther with this boy, but you simply have nothing to talk about. Maybe you buy each other drinks from time to time, but once you’ve made the decision of tequila over soco-lime, the conversation is over. He is probably very cute, and probably very dumb.
4. The Bartender Crush – This is the hot bartender that you flirt with in an attempt to get free drinks, but considering how many other girls have the same idea, this rarely works out. From time to time, you get drunk leave your phone number on the tip line of the check. He never calls.
5. The Unicorn – Also known as “The Great White Buffalo,” this is the crush of all crushes. You see this guy everywhere, and may actually even know him, but he is utterly unattainable. Everyone needs a unicorn, and by senior spring every possible effort ought to be made to get this boy in your bed.