If there are two things I’m mastered in my lifetime, they are the following: being extremely awkward and calling attention to my awkwardness. I’ve tried to amend my ways, but unfortunately, and while I can be at successful at times, there are just some mistakes that I have not been able to avoid since arriving here.
1. Accidentally cutting someone in the pasta line at Leo’s without realizing it, and then having him/her give you a really dark look as a consequence. This is especially awkward because aggressive eye contact makes me really uncomfortable.
2. Knowing someone but not knowing him/her well enough to say hi if you happen to see said person on the street.
3. Seeing someone you think you DO know and excitedly calling his/her name and making excessive waving motions before you realize that, no, it is not him/her, and no, you do not know that many people.
4. Falling up the steps. Again.
5. Tripping down the Lau steps and seeing your life flash before your eyes. I’ve done this multiple times. Never gets old.
6. Solemnly swearing never to be that person who forgets to bring a writing utensil to class, when one day, you find yourself asking the kid next to you for a pen, and you want to curl up in the fetal position and cry.
7. When you pronounce something wrong and sound like a kindergartener, which is almost worse than a freshman.
8. Having your phone go off in class, and no, it’s not anyone interesting, it’s just your mom asking what you want for dinner when you come home in two weeks.
9. Seeing a professor outside of lecture and debating whether or not to go up and talk to him/her, and then by the time you decide to be an adult and say hello, he/she has already walked away.
10. Trying not to wake up your roommate when you have to get up early, but making a loud racket trying to find shoes in the dark and then opening the blinds to see what caused you to stub your toe because you temporarily forgot you shared a room with a person, and no, the world does not revolve around your sleeping patterns or unfortunately early schedule.
11. Wanting to sing in the shower because you miss singing in the shower, so you’ve planned your shower times around awkward hours when nobody is conscious or functioning.
12. Nursing your third cup of coffee with several shots of espresso at 11 P.M. so that the barista at Midnight Mug knows your name, your order, and whether or not you’re passing Chemistry.
13. Realizing that you’ve spent all of your Debit Dollars at local food spots just so you don’t have to eat at Leo’s, and then shamefacedly calling your parents to put more money on your GOCard.
14. Losing your GOCard.
15. Not knowing how the weather works in D.C. so you bundle up for your first class at 9 A.M. with a cute scarf and jacket and boots and then awkwardly have to peel off layers in your second class because the weather has decided to undergo a major attitude adjustment.