The “Nice” Asshole

He seemed “too good to be true”; someone who knew all the right things to say and just how to say them to make you feel like the only girl in the world— the patient fuckboy, or in nicer terms, the “nice” asshole. He swears he’s nice and plays by the rules, and is possibly even eloquently spoken about it because that's not him, he’s the “Nice Guy”.

The thing with him is that he’s full of loose promises, half-truths, and hidden intentions. He’ll wait the week, maybe even a couple of months because he likes to be entertained. He likes the idea of having you and will even hold your hand to reassure you that you are the apple of his eye. Slowly but surely, you start to fall for him, giving him everything he needs to get what he wants; after all, he is the “Nice Guy”. He puts in the work, and sees everything about you but uses it against you to make sure that you don’t suspect a thing. You never really know what’s going on in his head but you give him the benefit of the doubt, because why wouldn’t you? He’s a nice guy, right?

Time passes and you may be readily falling for him, if not already fully fallen for him; things feel so good and finally, you feel like your time going through all those crappy guys was worth something. But, that’s quickly short-lived as you start to notice small things changing within him and/or between you two… You think “that’s odd… maybe he’s having a bad week,” because that’s not like him, but really you're worried that it could be something worse. 

So many girls find themselves in this exact predicament and it’s truly a sticky situation to navigate through because by then, you see him, or rather, you see “us” as something worthy of working at and saving. Suddenly you’ll be picking up the slack in the relationship, treading carefully to his wants/needs/feelings in exchange to giving up your own and suddenly you’ve found yourself in the same position that you were in with guys before, feeling unseen, unappreciated, taken for granted (and used quite frankly), the vicious cycle continued.

This is a warning to all girls. If he really wanted to, he would. Boys don’t do much, but when they do it’s something that they deemed important enough to them to do, and this stings a bit for us girls. Whether he did something other than what he should’ve done or the lack of doing anything at all, boys are simple. They think in a simple and oftentimes want “simple things” (never actually simple things). But regardless, us girls are always the ones who “got it wrong”. I just want to say: You're not the one who got it wrong, your wants/needs/feelings are valid, and don’t let this joe-schmo that thinks he knows everything about you dictates what you are worth. Obviously he didn’t know who you are if he couldn’t even recognize your worth. 

Hold boys accountable for their wrongdoings— notice I'm not saying lacks. Everyone falls short, but some boys take advantage of that. A man who knows himself recognizes his wrongdoings and furthermore doesn’t repeat them. 

Keep moving forward, collegiettes, and if you haven’t heard it lately, you’re worth the world and more.