Death is something I have only just got acquainted with and I am still trying to grasp the concept of death itself. A lot of people experience the death of someone close, but for me, earlier this year was the first time I actually understood what it really meant. For me that was extremely hard to come to terms with as I am sure it is for others as well. This is how I dealt with some deaths of some pretty important people in my life.
In late January, my friend, Steven Kendrick, who I attended high school with, died. When I got the text, I immediately started crying. Stevo was an awesome person and a friend to everyone. His heart was genuine and he always knew how to make you laugh, even if that meant making fun of your hideous school I.D. pictures. Losing someone the same age as me was so hard because we have so much life left to live. It was already hard dealing with the fact that he died, but the fact that he died at such a young age shocked me more. I had to move on the next day not knowing what the future held for me, and that was scary, honestly. Then I had to move on the next day knowing that I would never hear him make fun of me again or see him at our sisters basketball games together and that really hit me.
About two weeks ago, I lost a super close family friend. Honestly she was just family. Her name was Mrs. Linda and she was a beautiful person all around. Her granddaughter, Vanessa, was and still is my best friend. Mrs. Linda had that smile that warmed your heart and made your day and a hug that took all the worries away. I still have the bracelets and scarves Mrs. Linda made me when I was younger. When I moved away from California, I wore that bracelet until it broke, and then I still kept it. I remember the pool parties at her house or the trips to her house to see her amazing Santa Claus collection. She was a huge, important part of my childhood, and I will always miss her. My pops had just went to see her a couple days before she died and I had wanted nothing more than to be there to see her one last time.
When experiencing a death, one thing I have learned is that life keeps going. It is a chessy, cliche concept, but it is still a hard one to grasp. I felt terrible at first that I got to keep living without them. They both were living amazing lives and who would want that to end? It just did not seem fair, but it is necessary. Everyday it gets a little bit easier, and everyday you continue to find more ways to live. You learn to live on for them because that is what they would want you to.
Another thing to remember when you are dealing with a loss is to take a breath. It is overwhelming at first and you are thinking with be rash or nothing at all. Take a breath. Take time to process what happened. If you need to cry, then cry. One thing I did was to remember all the good times we had. It helped me to realize that God had other plans for them and that they would always with us through our memories. If you are ever missing someone who has died, just take a breath and remember the good times and it will seem as if they are still there with you. Someone has got to keep their memories alive and share stories of them, why not you?
This part is probably the most important, but knowing there are others out there saddened by this event helps to deal with grief so much more. When Stevo died, me and my friends talked about how shocked we were at first and how we were dealing with it. We then sent funny videos from the class we had all shared with Stevo, and it made our sad day a funny one. When Mrs. Linda died, my family and I were all brought to tears, but we picked each other up. It is hard to pick yourself up sometimes, but that is why we have friends or family to help us. At first you may not want to talk to anyone and that is okay, but eventually you should talk to them or let them help you. It will make this whole process a lot easier.
I do not know if you or anyone else has experienced a death recently, but hopefully this article helped you to relate and process how to deal with it.
Rest in Heaven Stevo and Mrs. Linda.