I recently read a brilliant and hilarious article on Buzzfeed.com, titled “13 Reasons Why Nice Guys Are The Worst,” that pokes fun at the so called “nice guys” who always seem to finish last. We all know at least one guy like this. He can always offer up a compliment to any girl and is ready to sweep her off her feet as soon as she changes her relationship status to “single.” Contrary to popular “nice guy” logic, being nice isn’t the only foundation for romance, and I’m going to explain why.
First, being a self-proclaimed “nice guy” doesn’t automatically make sparks fly with every girl. Dating shows, like “The Bachelor,” demonstrate that two perfectly normal, attractive people can simply have no connection (sorry Desiree, I know, Sean Lowe is so dreamy!). If we all followed “nice guy” logic, dating would be so much easier, because we’d all have the pick of the draw. For example: “Hey, you’re attractive and I’m attractive, and I can’t see any reason why this shouldn’t work out, want to get married?” Try that the next time you’re at a bar and let me know how it goes.
My next “nice guy” complaint deals with the “but-I-did-something-nice” argument. Treating people with respect is normal behavior that shouldn’t have to be rewarded. Holding the door for a girl leaving the Johnson Center may warrant a “thank you,” but is not exactly a panty dropper. Some “nice guys” take their game to the next level by excessively complimenting a girl. Flattery may cause some blushing, but don’t expect her to dump her boyfriend to date you instead because you said she was beautiful. What is even more frustrating is when a guy argues his worthiness by bringing up that time he didn’t try to hook-up with you at that party you drank too much at. Correct me if I’m wrong (I’m not wrong), but if a girl is too drunk to provide consent, you shouldn’t have sex with her. There are no Hallmark cards that congratulate a nice guy for not hooking up with a drunk girl… sorry I didn’t give you a proper thank you (I’m not sorry).
Having a boyfriend doesn’t protect you from a “nice guy” on the prowl. If anything, the competition fuels the “nice guy” fire. Something about proving that he can be nicer than your boyfriend really encourages a “nice guy” to work his hardest to win you over. As a woman with a boyfriend, let me finally settle this score. It’s going to take a lot more than holding the door, excessively complimenting and not taking advantage of me to make me leave my boyfriend for a self-proclaimed “nice guy.” There’s a reason why he’s my boyfriend; he’s actually a nice guy!
Complaints aside, there is hope out there for “nice guys.” Drop the “nice guy” act, and be yourselves! Being genuine will take you further with a girl than proclaiming your niceness, and girls like a little challenge. By all means, keep complimenting and holding doors for girls, just don’t expect them to kiss you for it. The sooner you stop expecting girls to respond to your niceness, the sooner girls will actually be intrigued. Who knows, maybe one of these girls will surprise you by giving you her number.