Being a woman is hard. Being a woman of color adds another layer. We’re all beautiful, though. Here’s your reminder.
Being a woman in the U.S., and anywhere in the world, is hard. There’s no denying it. We’re held to impossible standards and we’re expected to be okay with it. Through it all, society expects us to be beautiful.
We’re supposed to have flawless skin and luscious hair and a perfect figure. Women are often susceptible to mental health issues caused by these unrealistic expectations. Women are almost twice as likely as men to be diagnosed with conditions like depression, anxiety, and body image concerns just to name a few (Mayo Clinic). Studies have shown, though, that in the US these rates are even higher for women of color (Shondaland). Women of color are not only held to the ridiculous patriarchal expectations imposed by society. In addition to that, they are expected to comply with western beauty standards which have originated from Eurocentric ideals (NPR).
Related: Breaking Beauty Standards
Many women of color do go to extreme measures to make themselves look as “white” as possible. They straighten their hair and bleach their skin on a regular basis, placing all sorts of under researched chemicals in their bodies.
As a woman of color myself, I admit that I have put myself in harm’s way before to try to adhere to beauty standards I felt I needed to meet. I straighten my hair regularly, even though dermatologists have stated that constant exposure of hair to hot equipment such as straightening irons can lead to permanent hair loss, slower hair growth, and other issues (Style craze). It can lead to hair fallout and breakage. But, I feel willing to take that chance if society will deem me more valuable.
We are all well aware of the risks that come with beauty products like these. However, we also know that showing up to a job interview with perfectly smooth legs and arms will make us a more desirable candidate. And we know that posting pictures of ourselves with straightened hair on a dating app will allow us to get more matches.
These harmful chemicals aren’t just poured onto our bodies for the purposes of vanity and fitting into America’s definition of beauty; there are very legitimate situations in which looking more like a white woman can and will give us an advantage in society. We may have the chance to earn a greater salary or get promoted. We may be given more opportunities to speak up during a meeting by our male colleagues. Many black women are considered “unprofessional” for showing up to work with their natural hair, which tends to grow up and out. But, black women in the workplace with chemically straightened hair are typically more well-respected (Perception.org).
A lot of these scenarios can certainly exist for white women as well. We all know that pretty privilege is very real. We live in a shallow society where looks matter more than anything else. However, white women don’t have to worry about colorism or colorist expectations on top of beauty standards. For colored women though, adhering to these expectations can be seen as a necessity if we want to be taken seriously.
But, we all originate from different parts of the world and have different ancestors and completely different family trees. We are all beautiful in our own way and we need to remember that.
I was born and raised in an affluent country and into a healthy family where I had the best care and received a high-quality education. I understand that compared to many women of color in the world, I am beyond fortunate. However, I also understand the difficulties of being a woman of color in a white, male-dominated society. I understand the struggles of experiencing potential health concerns as a consequence of seeking social acceptance. I understand the traumas of growing up in a country that viewed my skin color first, and my individuality second. And because of that, I want to remind women of color that we’re strong. We’re powerful and resilient. And we’re beautiful. We’re all born beautiful. Whether you fit the western white-washed societal idea of beauty or not, you’re still beautiful.
And of course, let’s remember that we’re more than what we look like. We can be so caught up with what we see on the outside that we forget inner beauty is a thing, too.