While the average friendship lasts five to seven years (and good ones last a lifetime), the average relationship seems to last five to seven months. So why do we put more effort into our short-lived romances than our fulfilling friendships? More often than not, we’ll find ourselves hiking back to campus with a cute guy, instead of dancing the night away with our best friends. We’re all guilty of this, but shouldn’t we be giving our friendships more respect? Or is this the way all relationships are supposed to work?
Over Thanksgiving break, I watched For a Good Time, Call… It’s not the typical romantic comedy because the true romance is between two friends, Lauren and Katie. They hate each other over an incident in college (where Katie spills a cup of pee on Lauren) but share a friendship with a gay man. He sets them up to be roommates in a gorgeous NYC apartment, and the two become close when they start a phone-sex line. Side note: I was completely unaware you could become rich off of a phone-sex line…and meet your soul mate on the line, too (like Katie doe). Keep that in mind, collegiettes, even though I hope my soul mate doesn’t call phone-sex lines…
Lauren and Katie fall in love with their newfound friendship. It was refreshing to watch a movie where a young woman isn’t in a whirlwind of heels, hot guys, and lost hope. It actually makes Katie’s relationship with her phone-sex man appear more sweet and honest. Katie and Lauren are in their own relationship, where they buy gifts, fall asleep together, and tell intimate secrets. Their relationship juxtaposes Lauren’s relationship with her ex-boyfriend, which was lacking passion, excitement, and honesty. Like many relationships, Lauren and her ex were caught up in the comfort of their relationship, whereas Lauren and Katie’s relationship is full of adventure and fun, as female friendships often are.
I can relate to the boredom a relationship can bring. In the past, I often felt I was obligated to hang out with my boyfriend when I would have rather relaxed with my best friends. There is something about a romantic relationship that requires a consistency. Maybe you and your guy have dinner dates every Friday night or plan student sessions for every Tuesday afternoon; you two form a sort of schedule to ensure the relationship thrives. However, with your friends, you rarely worry about losing them because they’re always around. Whether they live with you or back home, it never crosses your mind they’ll disappear, giving the friendships freedom and spontaneity.
Looking at my broken friendships, I feel much more of a loss than I do for my past romantic relationships. I think about hysterical times my friends and I had together, whether it was stalking boys in spy outfits, painting our bodies, or saying stupid stuff no one else would ever understand. For once, I actually miss my high school days. But life happens. Friendships disappear slowly but surely…maybe because of college or just not enough time. So it might not be our fault that we live in the moment and push our friends to the side. Sometimes we break up with them, too. At the same time, I can say some of my ex-boyfriends also became my best friends for the span of our relationships. At least we know that if we perform our disappearing act at a party, our friends will understand. We also know (maybe just subconsciously) that they’re stuck with us for more than a few months because that’s what they are there for. As Carrie Bradshaw once said, “Maybe our girlfriends are our soul mates, and guys are just people to have fun with.”