After stating numerous times in the past that I do not need or want a boyfriend, my single lady days are over. I guess whoever said it’ll happen when you aren’t looking for it was right. I sort of basked in my singledom and learned to love it. I always considered myself the relationship-type, but I discovered that wasn’t true. I learned a whole lot more about myself, guys, and dating in general. Even though I have much more to explore (and will never truly understand the opposite sex), here are a few tips.
“No, but he looks more attractive in real life.” If you have to look through a guy’s profile pictures multiple times analyzing his possible slight resemblance to a dinosaur, accept the fact that you just don’t find him very cute. Yes, he looks super hot in that photo from 2010, but it is 2013. I know we all fail to realize this sometimes.
Expect the unexpected. Prepare yourself for every situation, even the silly ones. For example: be ready for the guy who prefers calling over texting. If you don’t, you may find yourself saying you were service-less in a parking garage, which is why you answered and then quickly hung up.
Don’t make any assumptions until the date is over. Conversation was easy, and it wasn’t just because you chugged some wine before. You text your bff how great dinner was, and then he tries to take off your sweater… And then the date is over.
Timing is everything. You meet a great guy one night, and he texts you saying he can’t wait to hang out. Problem is he hasn’t quite moved to the area yet and probably won’t for some time. Now you must accept this and stop referring to him as your “future boyfriend”.
Know who you’re dealing with. If he played lacrosse at Yale with his frat brothers, he’s probably going to relate to you by reliving his glory days (which only involve Ivy League problems and too many lax bros). Boringggggg.
Don’t force a connection. Just because your life is lacking some thrill doesn’t mean you should entertain a guy who you know isn’t going to happen. Because then pretending you aren’t over your ex becomes easier than telling him you aren’t feeling his personality…or his subtle (but most definitely going to happen) receding hairline…
Have faith in your friends. As soon as a guy is rude to my bff, it’s over. This may have evolved from living in a double where the boyfriend is the new third roommate. Either way, it’s important to listen to the people who know you best.
Trust your gut. He may be cute in that indie—sometimes I shower, I don’t like cars, Stabucks is my mecca—kind of way, but if something just isn’t quite right (like how he reminds you too much of your parents), don’t push it. Sometimes someone who you think is a good match, is the complete opposite.
Fall in love with freedom. Enjoy the convenience of being single. Carrie Bradshaw once said she was looking for, “Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love,”. It stuck with me because love is inconvenient, even if it’s just skipping a workout to see your bf (not because you have to, because you want to).
Stop searching. Take the free time to learn what makes you happy, to have experiences that will shape who you are, and to fall in love with your friends. Being single is really just being in the greatest relationship of all—the one with yourself.