Of all my unsuccessful relationships, my relationship with George Mason University’s wireless internet service is by far the most heartbreaking. Here are nine reasons why Mason’s wifi is basically my ex boyfriend.
1. Despite my low standards, it still manages to disappoint me.
I know it’s never going to work, but I can’t help but get upset when it’s gone.
2. It’s never there when you need it to be.
And whenever it feels like you need it the most, it won’t be there.
3. It’s full of false promises.
4. There’s rarely a connection.
But when there is, you often forget about all its flaws.
5. My friends hate it.
We all sit around and talk shit about how it has done us wrong.
6. It leaves me angry and upset.
Every. Single. Time.
7. It fails to contribute to society.
It often even brings other members of society down.
8. It’s always causing problems.
Because it feels like you can’t live without it.
9. And there’s never a valid explanation for these problems.
Despite claims that they are “actively working to fix the problem.”