Vine-covered, longstanding, and connected in absolutely no way that will substantially help you avoid the harsh upstate winters that it is known for, Geneseo’s buildings are one of its most prominent features. Each one has its own unique qualities to offer to campus students. Which one will your sign resonate with the most?
Integrated Science Center: Virgo (August 22-September 22)
Home to the “hard sciences”, the Integrated Science Center (better known as the “ISC”) is where dreams go to die. How many freshmen have entered into this building with dreams of becoming doctors and chemists, only to be obliterated by its high standards and zero-tolerance for failure?
Virgo, you demand nothing short of perfection. You are very detailed oriented, as shown by your hall’s pristine, expensive decor. In fact, if a detail is missed, you cease to function (and you probably take out a few freshmen’s GPAs with you). At your worst, you are cold and a bit soulless, similar to the study room-lined halls of the ISC, where you can feel the pressures of academia sucking the life out of students.
Wadsworth: Leo (July 23-August 22)
Wadsworth is the performing arts center on campus and is where all of the big events occur. Important lectures, high-production value plays, and mandatory meetings with the freshmen to remind them to stop smoking weed outside of Onondaga Hall (we can all smell it, and the fact that you have a tapestry with a massive pot leaf on it isn’t helping your case) bring this hall to the center of everyone’s attention!
Leo, you’re conceited, and you feel just at home under the blinding spotlights. You love having everyone’s eyes on you, and you love to have a good time. And a lot of people have fun in your building, sharing musicals and presentations alike with one another. Just be careful not to get too wrapped up in your own world!
Brodie: Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Designed by Edgar Tafel, Brodie is the fine arts building where emotion and beauty flows. Or maybe that’s just the tears of a student who got a fifty on their Asian Theatre final.
Brodie is just like the Cancer mind (the beauty bit, hopefully not the failing class one): highly imaginative, gorgeous, and full of constant, internal screaming. The latter is probably just a choir student who hasn’t listened to her vocal instructor’s advice to not audition for the Musical Theater major with “Defying Gravity” as her main piece. Try not to listen to her while you’re passing Brodie to get to the Chowhound food truck. It’ll only depress you.
Milne: Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
Milne is our library, which is generally the only place work is done on campus. Yes, you say to yourself that you’ll get that paper done once you get back to the dorm, but we all know that you’re lying to yourself. At least being visibly available to everyone in Milne will make you slightly more embarrassed to open up season five of Parks and Rec. Slightly. I mean, hey, at least you have your chemistry textbook open, and that’s a step in the right direction…
Capricorns, you are very hardworking, and you like to encourage those around you to be the same way. A master of delayed gratification, you know that studying four weeks in advance for your Biopsychology exam is the only way to secure the absolute best grade, and you’re ready to put in the work now that will pay off in the long haul. You’re so functional and put together that it’s frankly impossible to say anything bad about you, just like Milne.
Lauderdale: Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
God bless Lauderdale, our health services facility. They’re doing their best to serve our 5,600 students. With one doctor, a handful of nurses, and the therapy dogs being counted as staff to add to their numbers, good luck getting an appointment here with any sense of immediacy. But that doesn’t mean that the staff doesn’t care. In fact, it’s just the opposite, once you finally manage to make your way through those doors, the staff make you feel at home.
There’s an obvious reason why Scorpios are associated with this building. Scorpios are sensual and loving, so it only makes sense that they’ve made their home in Lauderdale, where you can fulfill all of your campus safe-sex needs. Bins stuffed with condoms, lube, and dental dams can be found here. But much like trying to schedule an appointment with Lauderdale, Scorpios can be wildly evasive and mysterious. Once you do manage to get inside them, though, you’ll find a wonderful person. Or free bottles of off-brand Robitussin, conveniently located next to the condoms. One of the two.
Fraser: Libra (September 23-October 22)
All offense, Poli-sci majors, but Fraser doesn’t even deserve to be called a building. It’s a hallway that I think we count as a building so the college gets a tax break. Any time I walk into this place, I feel like I’m in Alice in Wonderland, and this is the rabbit hole. Every turn of the hallway feels like a new universe, the mysterious library looks like a place where time itself would get lost, and hey, I’d probably be huffing on a Hookah too if I had to spend more than five minutes in this building every day.
Much like the International Relations majors and Political Science majors that find themselves here, Libras are concerned with ideas of justice and fairness. And loathe as I am to admit it, the hallway design makes finding classrooms in here pretty straightforward, just keep walking and you’ll eventually find where you’re headed, much as how Libras are able to balance efficiency in their everyday lives. Just speak up in your IR class next time your dumb classmate says that war in the Middle East can be solved with “more US military involvement”. Someone has to.
Newton: Gemini (May 21-June 20)
Dedicated solely to classes requiring massive classroom sizes, this lecture hall houses majors of all shapes and sizes at some point in their college careers. Anything from Geography to Chemistry to that Human Biology class your stupid Psychology major makes you take even though the brain is literally covered for two seconds (what the hell do I need to know about stomach dissension for???) is housed here.
Much like Newton, Geminis are adaptable and complicated. The simplest 100 level classes coexist with the most difficult 400 levels here, and it’s very easy to go from one lecture to another here. In fact, Gemini, you are so complicated that you will invariably confuse a few freshmen, who will walk the wrong way down your donut-shaped hallways and never escape.
Bailey: Aquarius (January 20-February 18)
It only makes sense that the humanitarian sign is most connected with Bailey, home of Anthropology, Psychology, and Sociology (Geography too, but we don’t talk about them and the weird, bumpy maps they hang across the hallways). With three classrooms that you will never leave for the entirety of your four years if you’re a psychology major, a modern design compared to the other “preserved” buildings, and at least an honest attempt to be disability accessible, Bailey is progressive and independent, like Aquarians themselves.
Aquarius, you value distance and independence, much like how Bailey is disconnected from every other building (an aberration on Geneseo’s campus). Complicated feelings run underneath your surface that you yourself do not always understand, much like the Psychology lab beneath Bailey where the rooms are not in numerical order and hallways start and end at random. You like a challenge and will begin to get lazy if not confronted, just as anyone who’s ever taken an Introduction to Sociology or Behavioral Statistics class will tell you.
Welles: Pisces (February 19-March 20)
Welles is now the home of the English and Languages departments, but it was once the Geneseo kindergarten school. Pisces are selfless, much like the type of person it takes to be a kindergarten teacher. They also have that childlike innocence that has not been snuffed out yet by the stifling pressures of society.
A Pisces’ creativity is also comparable to the imaginations of children. Their minds go all over the place, just like the tunnels that connect Welles to South and Wadsworth. But Pisces are just so innocent that it doesn’t matter that the people around them have literally no idea what they mean.
Sturges: Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)
It’s certainly not as old as Welles, but the smell of age hangs in Sturges like a thick blanket, and the building has certainly seen better days. Still, it’s hard to knock it since it’s the home of various college resources like the Pride Alliance’s Pride Space and the campus resource nurse (for when you, typically, cannot get into Lauderdale).
Like the Sagittarius, the fact that Sturges is still open shows a strong sense of optimism. Age and heavy use hasn’t taken this building yet, and Sagittarius, you aren’t going down without a fight. Less positively, you tend to give into toxicity a little too easily. And the potential health hazards of Sturges is a parallel of this, with its possibly too-high lead concentrations in the water fountain, construction gas leaks, and rumors of asbestos which only hint at the horror that boils within a spurned Sagittarius.
South Hall: Aries (March 21-April 19)
Education and Business majors enjoy one of the classier buildings on campus, South Hall. Sleek and modern, and just a touch stand-offish, South embodies Aries, who values competition and feed off of other’s energy to get by. Likewise, South feeds off of the tears and blood of education students who will never finish their block courses on time.
Aries, you are not only the world’s future leaders, but renowned hotheads. At times, these qualities of leadership and agitation intermix in awful ways for you. Sometimes it can be rather difficult for you to see things from other people’s points of view, much like how the cutthroat, soulless businessmen being born in South Hall will never be able to see how they’re enforcing the glass ceiling once they’re given a modicum of power in their future jobs.
Letchworth: Taurus (April 20-May 20)
Unlike the other buildings on this list, Letchworth is not a place where classes are held. Instead, it’s a dining facility that serves all of North Side from 9 AM into the wee hours of the morning.
Taurus, you are always hungry, so there’s no better place to represent you than Letchworth! You are also very reliable, just like how Letch serves the same food day in and day out.
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