Top 10 Things That Are Probably Behind That Weird Floating Door in the Basement of Welles

 

 

If you’ve walked through the bottom floor of Welles, you may have noticed this door. It’s small, a tad shabby and completely unlabeled. Perhaps more notable than that, it is floating several feet off of the ground. If you were to somehow access this door, what would be behind it? I don’t know, but here are my best and most plausible guesses:

 

  1. A progression of smaller, more oddly-shaped doors that never seems to end

  2. The absolutely, undeniably haunted third floor of Sturges Hall

  3. A framed picture of you and me

  4. A Narnia-like fantasyland in which the weather is warm for more than one consecutive day

  5. A message from SUNY Geneseo Computing and Information Technology: Your Geneseo password expires in fewer than 2 days

  6. My mom’s friend, Martha

  7. A long, dungeon-like corridor ending in two doors, one leading to bountiful Letchworth Dining Complex and the other to barren Red Jacket. Each is blocked by a guard. One of them always tells the truth and the other always lies. You can ask only one of them one question; what will you say to help you choose the right door?

  8. Cones

  9. Every teddy bear wearing a “Someone from Geneseo Loves Me!” shirt that has ever been thrown away

  10. The truth about the assassination of John F. Kennedy

 

There’s no way for us to find out which one of my theories is correct. However, even if the mystery was solved, one would remain: What’s behind the equally unsettling door right across the hall?

 

 

Goodnight, Geneseo.

 

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