With the government suggesting that we may need to stay inside for more than a month, I have taken it upon myself to not only waste as much time as possible, but also to gather a collection of strange Internet rabbit holes to keep you distracted.
- Death Valley Germans
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The Death Valley Germans is the first thing that really comes to mind when I hear the phrase Internet rabbit hole. The Death Valley Germans were tourists who came to American in the mid 1990s, during the hot summer months in Death Valley National Park. They never returned to Germany. For over 10 years, everyone wondered what happened to them and where their bodies were. The search for their remains and what happened was beautifully documented by Tom Mahood, and I strongly recommend reading about his search for the bodies here.
- The murder of Andy the Goose
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If you know me, I love birds. The only thing I love more than birds are birds that wear clothes, so I became very invested in the story of Andy the Goose. Andy was a goose born without feet; as a result, he often wore very stylish Nikes. He was a fashionable goose, and so it was a total shock to everyone when someone murdered him. The case is still cold, but there’s a plethora of information about Andy and the murder out there.
- Wikipedia’s Timeline of the Far Future
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If I may get a bit more philosophical, Wikipedia’s Timeline of the Far Future is also an interesting rabbit hole (But what isn’t on Wikipedia?). I think it’s fascinating how far time can reach up to, and furthermore, all of the tangents you can go off from the site. For example, I learned about the Waste Isolation Power Plant, which had to hire a team of experts in linguistics to devise nuclear warning messages that could last long after the potential deterioration of English as a language.
- Captain Kutchie’s Key Lime Pie
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A more grounded mystery, but very absurd. Captain Kutchie’s Key Lime Pie once existed, but not anymore. Across the Internet, numerous comments on websites have praised the key lime pies of a certain Captain Kutchie. The reviews are typically overtly sexual and odd, and especially strange, since the real Captain Kutchie’s Key Lime Pies closed in 2005. There’s theories the person posting these comments is a bot … but then how are the comments so different every time? And if it is a person … who has the time to write about this place? Are the pies that good?
- Theme Park History
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While theme park history may not seem as interesting as the ones above, I assure you, there are plenty of YouTubers who can make the creation and conspiracies of numerous Disney rides and theme parks intriguing. One of my personal favorites is this, a documented history of the decline of Disneyland’s teens only nightclub. Another personal favorite is the kidnapping of beloved icon Buzzy, which was solved last summer.
- Final Fantasy House
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The Final Fantasy House is another deep dive topic about two women obsessed with the video game Final Fantasy VII. When I say obsessed, I mean they essentially ran an abusive cult. There’s loads of information out there, but this link is a good start. It’s both fascinating—being such an early piece of Internet history—and horrifying.
- The Peoples Temple
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Cults are always good rabbit holes to travel down. The Peoples Temple is probably the most famous cult, but many people don’t know that much about how everything went down. I’ve read about the Peoples Temple for my psychology class, and the further you read, the more horrifying and interesting it becomes. Stitcher actually did a wonderful podcast on the cult, which I highly recommend.
- Phoenix Jones
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The so-called first real-life superhero, Phoenix Jones, first appeared in 2011 after he chased away a car thief. His fame grew from there, until he even managed to form his own justice league of superheroes. Of course, not all good things last forever, and Phoenix Jones found himself in legal trouble, most recently in January for selling MDMA. His story is definitely an interesting rabbit hole, and involves pepper spraying protesters, having his own Joker-style nemesis and getting a sidekick. This documentary is a great place to start.
- Any old Creepypasta: Ted the Caver, Dionaea House and so on
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Creepypasta often run the gamut from horrible to passable these days, and were about the same when I was younger. I’ve written about this topic before. However, that doesn’t mean they’re all sub-par; there are a few that are definitely perfect to read when you’re alone at night. Ted the Caver is a spooky tale about a man who explores a cave which may or may not have supernatural elements. Dionaea House is another good one, about a house which … also may or may not involve supernatural elements. I also have a soft spot for Ben Drowned, the creepy story surrounding a haunted Zelda game, only because that story didn’t allow me to sleep for nights after.
- Dan Bell’s Abandoned Mall Series
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Perhaps not exactly entertaining to everyone, Dan Bell’s Abandoned Mall Series is always one of my go-to rabbit holes. It’s all about a man simply exploring dead malls, many of which haven’t been updated since the 1980s. He’s also expanded to exploring abandoned hotels and abandoned schools; anything that’s derelict, he’ll explore. I find it relaxing, and something to listen to while working. The Kmart exploration is a good start.
Hopefully, these 10 will be enough to keep you busy during quarantine. I know they will for me.