When She's Over Him


A couple months (or a lot of them) have passed, and the sound of his name doesn’t leave an empty feeling at the bottom of her stomach. He’s five feet away, and instead of dodging him she continues to walk past him with a smile. She sees him worshipping in chapel, and instead of feeling annoyed she hopes his relationship with God is flourishing.


Now getting over him is not going to be easy, but when that finish line is reached it feels like she can accomplish anything. Not to say that he is never going to cross her mind, that will happen from time to time, but life will be livable again. Smiles will not be faked, and going out will be fun instead of a chore. Happiness is finally accessible again, and the hardest thing that has happened to her heart may have left a scar, but doesn’t have that throbbing pain anymore.

To make matters simple, here is a list of 10 things that show that the finish line has been crossed, and the battle won.

That Song Doesn’t Hurt

  • The song that was once her favorite has become the most skipped over the past couple of months. Yet, since it was “thumbs upped” on Pandora, it always surfaces. That day when it comes on and her first instinct is not to skip it, but rather listen to it because it’s a good song, reveals a major step towards a healed heart.

 New Memories

  • The places that were once flooded with memories of him will now be places where memories are formed with friends. That park is beautiful, and just because there was a memory shared there in the past does not mean the park should never be re-visited. She should make new memories, and make them her own.

She’s Genuinely Happy for Him

  • She hears from a mutual friend that something good happened to him, and her first reaction is a smile. He’s accomplishing something great, and she couldn’t be happier for him and who he is becoming. She wants nothing but the best for him, and knowing he’s doing good without her doesn’t make her bitter but happy.

She’s Civil

  • He’s walking the same way she is, and instead of acting like she does not see him, she smiles and asks how he is doing: because she cares. No one is expecting the two to be best friends after their relationship, but being civil shows that she has accepted the ending of the relationship, and is ready to move on.

Pictures Don’t Hurt

  • If one managed to not throw away or delete every picture with her ex, looking at them now would not bring tears. If anything, she will be able to look at them and remember how happy she was then, and how happy she is bound to be again. She’s getting there. She understands that these memories were great, but somewhere along the way something changed, and that’s okay.

Days Pass Without Thinking of Him

  • He’s not the first thought on her mind when she wakes up. She has gone days without even thinking about him, and can honestly say that she’s happy about it. The love stories that she watches on TV are exciting reminders of what is to come, not what was.

Getting Ready for Herself

  • She wakes up and does her hair and makeup not because she’s worried about running into her ex, but because she wants to look good. She does things for herself, and realizes that the only person she wants to impress is herself (and maybe that cute boy in her 1:55pm).

“Girl’s Night” Goes Back to Being Girl’s Night

  • Girl’s night is no longer the “best friend therapy” where she goes and cries while her girlfriends load her up with Ben & Jerry’s. It is not her friends telling her what a jerk that guy was to make her feel better. It is hanging out with her best friend’s and being happy that she has them and happy with where life is. It is laughing because something is actually funny, and loving life.

She Stops Talking About Him

  • This is a big one. When a girl gets her heartbroken, it’s safe to say everyone will know. Ranging from the bag boy at the grocery store to the Dutch Bros worker giving her coffee. When she finally gets over him, she is not going to go on and on about him and everything that happened. She’s going to move on.

She’ll Realize There Are More Fish in the Sea

  • This does not mean she has to go date someone right away (being single for a while is okay), but she will realize that she has options. There are other guys out there who are cute and funny, and that will give her hope. That cute guy sitting next to her will actually be on her radar.