Of course God speaks to us through other people. That is one of the primary ways he extends his love and mercy to us. However, people occasionally have a hard time conveying the right amount of truth and grace when they are critiquing us. In addition to this, people often project their own insecurities onto others when they are in conflict. Most individuals hate seeing their own weaknesses in others, and they lash out accordingly. Regardless, it is extremely difficult to take others’ criticisms lightly, especially since many of us were raised to be trusting and to accept other “Christian opinions” as fact. Blind acceptance of anything other than what lines up with God’s word is not biblical.
The Apostle Paul even said, “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ” (Galatians 1:10, NIV).
It is important to ask for God’s guidance in every area, but it is especially important when considering other peoples’ critiques of our character. Ask God to show you what parts of their opinions are true, and forgive and forget the rest.
Isaiah 51:7 (NIV) says, “Hear me, you who know what is right, you people who have taken my instruction to heart: Do not fear the reproach of mere mortals or be terrified by their insults.”
This is the most freeing verse that people-pleasers can possibly read. For a lot of us, it is easy to obsess over others’ views of us, and we adjust our images accordingly. Many people put on a façade so that they can accommodate those around them. Of course, some personalities struggle with this more than others, but everyone inherently wants to be loved and appreciated. We cannot expect that from other people all the time. The only true source of purpose and self-esteem must be God, or we will spend our entire lives chasing something that does not exist. No one else can satisfy you or declare your worth. Those who try to speak discouraging things over you need to experience healing for their own insecurities.
God is our great Encourager. Romans 15:5 (NIV) says, “May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had…”
Many people have not had that encouragement from authority figures in their lives. This makes it overwhelmingly difficult to develop a healthy self-esteem or to grow independently of what others say about your worth. We are called to overcome these setbacks. God has given us all the tools that we need, and failure is simply a teacher—it is not an indicator of our worth or potential.
Our weaknesses are our strengths, our insecurities open us up to healing, and our worth does not exist apart from God. Our very identities are wrapped up in the fact that he created us in his image. God is glorious, and his Holy Spirit imparts spiritual gifts upon us, his children. We have been given so much authority and power, and we must choose to walk in it every day. Proverbs 24:16 says, “The righteous may fall 7 times but still get up, but the wicked will stumble into trouble.”
It is okay to fail. Any successful athlete would tell you that. We have to fail so that we can learn. More importantly, we have to fail to find the peace of our Heavenly Father. It sounds cliché to spew verses about patience and kindness, but no one leaves the encouraging presence of God without experiencing change.
A lot of women struggle with their beauty, but the rest of us often struggle with feeling inadequate or as if we are not strong enough. Psalms 18:32 (NKJV) tells us, “It is God who arms me with strength, and makes my way perfect.”
He makes our way perfect, regardless of our mistakes. We need to walk in humility under the hand of God. This will enable us to love those around us without obsessing over our own emotions or carrying our hurts with us until we die. Humility and trust in Christ truly does enable us to live without the fear of others’ negative opinions. We are all only human, after all.
