If you could only buy one coffee for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Now I understand that we all have that one coffee order that is basically our entire personality. We also know that our personality often gravitates towards specific genres when it comes to reading. Reading is how most people decompress, and we tend to read similar genres each time we pick up a new book. The greatest question is: if your coffee order could describe your reading taste, what would it say about you?
Black Coffee
If you drink black coffee… no, you don’t. I’m just kidding, but if you do, you are most likely more serious, simple, disciplined, and independent. You don’t want to lean on others, and you are more likely to be the main character in your own novel—whatever the genre may be. This lets me believe that you most likely love to read dystopian, dark fantasies and dark academia. These books tend to be emotionally devastating, but disturbingly well-written. This includes books like any of The Hunger Games books, Alchemised by SinLin Yu, and Katabasis by R.F. Kuang. All of these books scream the deep, alluring tension of life and death that black coffee gives. It’s bitter at first, but in the end if you love it, you will stick with it until the end of your life.
Ice Vanilla Latte Girls/Boys
The boys and girls that drink iced vanilla lattes (and yes, I purposely wrote “boys” and “girls”) are typically warm, social, and comfort-driven. These people are the ones that will follow any trend and stick to their heart’s desire. If you ask an iced vanilla latte person if they want to fly to France next Wednesday, most likely they will say ‘yes’ with little to no hesitation. This is why they tend to gravitate towards Booktok favorites, enemies-to-lovers, and romance. If you tell this person to read a book, if they like the synopsis, they will buy it that day and finish it by the end of the week (unless they are a slow reader). This includes books like: Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros, A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas, and People We Meet on Vacation by Emily Henry. All of these books are in the spotlight—which is the same place this person would be—and give a feeling of socialization with a popular audience.
Espresso People
For those who love espresso (it’s pronounced with an ‘s’ not an ‘x’), you are my favorite people. They tend to be more bold, efficient, and confident. Their life is lived on a rollercoaster, and nothing can stop them if they put their mind to it, but don’t be surprised if they only have energy after they’ve had their coffee. They tend to love fast-paced thrillers, plot-heavy fantasies, and a “no filler, just action” vibe. This includes books like: Shadow and Bone universe by Leigh Bardugo, Throne of Glass by Sarah J. Maas, and the Percy Jackson series by Rick Riordan. These people often feel larger than life and take on the world with a coffee cup. There is no slowing down espresso people. They love the thrill and chase the adrenaline in all aspects of life. Don’t be surprised if they finish their book within 48 hours.
Matcha and Chai/the Alternative Drinkers
For those who fancy themselves a chai (which means tea, so no need to put the word tea afterwards…Starbucks) or a matcha have one thing going for them: the aesthetic. I’m not here to bash the chai and matcha drinkers—even if it only tastes like grass and weird tea—but they also deserve a spot on this list because they are people who love a vibe. They are the ones who focus on the aesthetic of it all and are intentional in everything that they do. This includes college students, therapists, and soccer moms. They also love their mental health and personal fitness. I wouldn’t be surprised to find one of these drinkers at a Pilates studio once or twice a week. They gravitate more toward the classical section, “quiet girl” books, and non-fiction. This includes books like: Atomic Habits by James Clear, Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, and The Crescent Moon Tearoom by Stacy Sivinski. Don’t be fooled by their performative ways; these drinkers may surprise you in more ways than one.
Seasonal Drink Girlies
I cannot forget our lovely, classic pumpkin spice and cookie butter queens. This section is for anyone who enjoys a seasonal drink whenever the temperature drops, or springs back into action. These people tend to be more nostalgic, remembering the past, emotional, and vibe-based. These are the type of people who can go on and on with the same story until your ears bleed, but it’s interesting and exciting because they put so much heart into each sentence. Because of this, they tend to read more holiday romances, cozy reads, and comfort re-reads. They give Hallmark in the best way and never give up the chance to watch their favorite movie for the tenth time. They typically read books like The Pumpkin Spice CafĂ© by Laurie Gilmore, The Spellshop by Sarah Beth Durst, and anything by Emily Henry.