I am beyond excited for winter break, but I know it will likely lead to one infamous question: “What are you doing after you graduate?”
We heard it in high school and now have the pleasure of hearing it again throughout college. It’s such an unoriginal question. You may have been subjected to this inquiry already during Thanksgiving break—my deepest condolences. I understand how it feels. I don’t think anyone asks it to be particularly mean. Still, the question has underlying connotations that leave me feeling like free-fall skydiving off a moving plane.
When someone asks this question, I feel like they’re asking me to prove how I’m working on being a successful and contributing member of society. I don’t want to be an adult member of society just quite yet. I want to be left alone and play Mario Kart.
It also doesn’t help that I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I’m not alone in this. My friends and I talk about how we all have no clue what to do after graduation. There’s comfort in that, but I still feel scared. I think my friends are super smart and that they’ll figure it out. I don’t want to be left behind.
Recently, I’ve been thinking about how to combat this internal turmoil. One thing that’s helped me is taking my thoughts hostage.
When I think unhelpful thoughts about myself, like “I’ll never be as successful as them” or “I’ll probably have a boring 9-5 job when I graduate,” I pause and dig deeper by asking myself questions. First, why am I thinking about this? Well, I’m stressed about my future and want people to be proud of me. Who do I want to make proud? For me, it’s my parents, friends and relatives. Why do I want to make them proud of my accomplishments? I want people to respect me and my achievements.
This sounds tedious (and slightly boring), but it gets to the center of the issue: I desperately want to please others and “keep the peace.” I don’t need to prove myself to others. I know there is a good plan for me for the future, even though it’s scary.
Another thing that’s helped me is these two Bible verses: Jeremiah 29:11 says, “’I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” Matthew 6:34 says, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
I try to remember that we’re not even guaranteed tomorrow. So, instead of being obsessed about the future, I’ve resolved to give the following answer to the worst question: “I don’t know, I’m just going to try to do good today.” That sounds like a cheesy answer, but at least it’s honest.
Whoever is reading this, there are good plans for your life, and I’m praying that you feel less stressed about the future.