Typically, students worry about the part where they get to college. They worry about who their roommates will be, if they’ll make any friends, if they’ll get a boyfriend, or if they’ll be homesick. After the first semester, these worries tend to fizzle out and students get into a comfortable routine, making friends fast. This comfort continues throughout sophomore and junior years.
In my experience, I knew I had made lifelong friends during my time at college. I was content, I was happy.
There was one small detail I had forgotten about: people graduate. For me, this phenomenon has been amped up a bit. I started this year as a junior, forgetting that most of my friends, including my roommates, were seniors. Almost everyone in my friend group would be graduating in the spring, except for me.
A few weeks into the school year, I started hearing the words “I’m graduating in April!” way more than I should have been, way more than I had been expecting. I started counting the people who were graduating in my head, realizing that a lot of them had only been at GCU for three years. I was mad; I thought we were all supposed to do this in four years, why were we rushing it?
In truth, it’s pretty common to graduate in three years instead of four, but I hadn’t realized that a lot of my friends were a part of this group.
As the title says, no one tells you about the part where all your friends graduate.
For anyone in a similar situation, there are four main pieces of advice I can give you: avoid the panic era, learn to be self-sufficient, start doing things for yourself, and be open-minded.
AVOID THE PANIC ERA
Admittedly, the first semester of this year was filled with utter panic, knowing that my roommates and the majority of my friend group were graduating. I had no idea who I was going to live with for my senior year, and I couldn’t imagine campus life without my friends. As a result, my friend group began to mash as much time together as humanly possible. Every day we were with each other.
Between classes, homework, work, and my friends, it felt like I had no time to breathe, no time between the vicious cycle we had all entered. We were going to bed past 2 a.m. and getting no sleep. We had entered a norm of seeing each other every day no matter what, no matter how late it was. At the time, we hadn’t seen anything wrong with it, but let me tell you, DO NOT enter a panic era like this.
I was so scared of losing my friends, I decided to spend every waking moment with them. This is not healthy or sustainable. My advice: do a mental health check. Take a day to yourself. Slow down.
FIND PEACE IN SELF-SUFFICIENCY
After a packed (and panicked) first semester, I knew I needed to slow down. Simply put, learn to be alone. This can start with little, small things. If your roommates are in class or at work, you don’t have to wait for them to do everything. Go get food by yourself. Go to the pool by yourself. Go to the gym by yourself. Do your homework somewhere peaceful, by yourself.
Basically, do things by yourself, and find joy in the small, everyday things that you may take for granted. If you need to, put on some headphones and listen to music while you do your everyday tasks. As I began practicing this, I started to look forward to my walks across campus. Sometimes it’s nice to take a moment and breathe.
FIND SOMETHING FOR YOU
While starting my second semester of this year, I was determined to find something that would bring me joy. Immediately, I went to the club fair and talked to the representatives from clubs that interested me. This wasn’t something I had done in the past, and I wasn’t completely comfortable with it, but it was one of the best decisions I made. Join a club, play an intramural sport, apply for internships, or start working towards your career goals. More than likely you’ll make a few friends along the way, or at the very least you’ll gain a sense of pride and accomplishment.
BE OPEN-MINDED
This one may seem a bit obvious, but I think everyone needs a reminder to stay open-minded. Something I learned this year was that, unlike me, my graduating friends had no desire to make new friends. They were content in their friendships and didn’t have the extra time or energy to go out and meet new people. For me, making new friends seemed like an urgent matter. As I talked about, it’s important to let friendships form naturally, and not to panic. With that being said, it’s also important to keep an open mind.
Take a chance on people. Talk to your peers in classes, make group chats, and plan study dates. Reach out to all those “acquaintances”! Most importantly, hang out with people when you’re invited, even if that means you have to do it by yourself.
Ultimately, be brave, and take a moment to breathe. I promise you’ll be just fine.