A New Perspective of Love on Valentine’s Day

As another Valentine’s day comes and goes, I am left again with a familiar moment of introspection. While I have reached a point where I am content being by myself, I cannot help but feel a little left out when February rolls around and I see couples planning cute dates and sending each other thoughtful gifts. In the years that I don’t have a “Valentine,” I’ve always felt somewhat detached from the holiday. Yes, I would go out with my friends to enjoy Galentine’s together, but there was still an underlying feeling that I was missing out on something more. 

However, this year, I have finally come to a realization that the whole purpose of the day is to celebrate love. So, why is it that romantic love is the only love worth celebrating today? It took spending the week with my third-grade students, who were celebrating their Valentine’s Day early (and via Webex), to be reminded of the innocence that Valentine’s Day used to hold. Children see February 14th as a day to wear pink and red, exchange cards and candy, and consume copious amounts of sugar. But beneath it all, they see it as a day to show love to their classmates, teacher, and family members.

The truth is that love can be found all around us. It can be found in the presence of friends, in our passions, while spending time with family, in the midst of pursuing one’s career, and most importantly within ourselves. Just because I do not have a special someone to spend the fourteenth with, it does not mean that I cannot still celebrate and feel a sense of gratitude for all the love that I do have in my life. It is easy to get stuck in feelings of loneliness and just wanting the right person to come along and be swept up in some fairytale romance. And do not get me wrong, I want that as much as the next person. But now I understand that this season of my life may not be about finding love in a romantic partner, but rather finding that love within myself. 

There are so many ways that we can love ourselves and love on others. Although loving yourself is not always an easy process, nor will it be a straight path from point A to point B, taking little steps each day can make all the difference. 

Here are 5 ways to show yourself love:

1. Practice positive self-talk. When we speak negatively about ourselves and others, we only are creating a negative mindset and fueling emotions like doubt, insecurity, and dissatisfaction. Instead, be mindful of the words you use and practice being kind to yourself and those around you. 

2. Make time for things that you enjoy. In the chaos of trying to keep up with school or work, it is easy to neglect our hobbies and interests. This can lead to feeling stressed and overwhelmed. Setting aside a specific block of your day to unwind and enjoy a specific activity that is just for you will help to provide a sense of balance. 

3. Release things that no longer serve your best interest. This one is not easy. Detaching ourselves from bad habits or even certain people requires us to step out of our comfort zone. Growth is uncomfortable, but ultimately, doing so helps us become stronger and realize we never needed it/them in the first place.

4. 

   Prioritize yourself. It is important to take time to listen to your body and how you are feeling and set boundaries accordingly. Do whatever is best for you, and not what other people believe is best for you. 

5. Start a gratitude journal. Each day take a few minutes to write down and reflect on all the things you are grateful for. They do not have to be complex either! It can be as simple as getting a phone call from a friend you have not seen in a while or having a really good coffee in the morning. Doing so will help focus your mind on all the blessings in life instead of whatever you feel you are lacking. 

Moreover, Valentine’s Day is not only about wanting to receive love, but also showing love to others. We should take any opportunity to show love to our family, friends, and even strangers we come in contact with. Here are 5 ways to show love to others:

1. Express empathy. Each person has a life that is as complex as our own, and we do not  know what they might be going through. In times that you feel like your patience with others is wearing thin, take a step back before you react in anger and try to understand the situation from their perspective. 

2. Speaking kind words. By simply complimenting a person, you could make their entire day. Your words could leave a profound effect on them that you might not even realize.  

3. Call or text your friends and family telling them how much you love and appreciate them, especially if you do not see them very often! Check in on the special people in your life to see how they are doing and let them know you are thinking of them.

4. Being a good listener. When someone is speaking to you, really listen to what they have to say and allow them the chance to express their feelings. Sometimes all a person wants is to feel heard.

5. Small acts of kindness. We can show our love for others by doing small things to make their lives easier, like holding the door for someone whose hands are full or writing a positive note on your roommate’s mirror before her big exam.

Valentine’s day is a celebration of love, in all forms. And I am reminded that even if I am single or alone, there is so much love to be given. Not just today, but every day of the year.

• relationships
• self-love
• valentines day