To stay or not to stay
“I love him but…”
Girl, I’ve been there, and if you’re thinking this way, then you’ve come to the right place. How do you know if a relationship is worth staying in when everything seems to be going wrong? You have dreamed about this relationship for so long, and nothing is how you imagined it. However, inevitably, you love him more than you ever thought possible.
So, is love enough?
Answer these three questions first.
- Why do you love him?
Think hard, think specifics, dig deep here. Maybe make a list of 8-10 reasons.
- What is he bringing to the table for the relationship?
How is he serving and loving you? Do you need more or different efforts? Don’t fall in love with potential; fall in love with reality.
- Can you be your truest self around him?
Are your boundaries respected? Does he set boundaries? Think about whether you’re compromising your values for someone who doesn’t respect them.
Were those questions hard to answer? If you could answer these questions easily, then you wouldn’t be questioning the relationship. Being in this uncertain headspace is super uncomfortable, and it can breed anxiety and frustration in your heart. Girl to girl, I want to help you reach a decision so you can breathe easier, and it really comes down to one more question.
Are you staying out of fear or love?
Are you fearful of what happens if you break up? Will you regret it? What if there’s no one else? Was this all just a waste of time?
That is fear speaking, and if you’re asking yourself this, you may be staying out of fear. Remember, letting go isn’t a failure; it is still a decision forward, even though it can feel like the wrong one at first.
There is a difference between staying because you genuinely believe the relationship can grow and staying because you’re terrified of what happens if you leave.
So, should you stay?
Maybe.
If both people in the relationship are willing to communicate, forgive, be patient, and grow with each other, the relationship could begin to flourish. However, sometimes there has just been too much disrespect, hurt, and compromise in a relationship that nothing except walking away can fix. Unfortunately, I cannot tell you which one to choose, but hopefully answering those questions helped reveal new truths to you.
Staying takes courage- but leaving does too.