Maintaining healthy friendships is essential in promoting a sense of belonging, purpose, and confidence in social settings. However, according to a study done in Berkley’s Greater Good Magazine, friendships are one of the only relationships in life that we are not biologically, morally, or legally obligated to. While we continuously have commitments towards family members, romantic partners, and bosses; the same cannot be said for friends, and yet these are relationships that we actively seek out and crave when they are lacking. Healthy friendships can become long-term, and when they do it’s important to give the relationship an occasional check-up. Here are four signs that you and your bestie(s) are practicing healthy friendship habits.
- There is an active and reciprocal effort to maintain the relationship. No one likes being in a one-sided relationship, so avoid this mistake by making a conscious effort to make plans, show up, and be present despite your busy schedule. According to Berkley’s Greater Good Magazine, this effort must be made by the other person as well, otherwise the relationship becomes “lopsided” and can become more draining than fulfilling. Having the mutual understanding of “I’m there for you and you’re there for me” sets the foundation for a lifelong bond.
- Time together leaves both parties with a sense of fulfillment. Although this seems obvious, it is often taken for granted in friendships. According to an article from Mayo Clinic, friendships are supposed to be an added positive in your life that work to “boost happiness [and] improve self-confidence and self-worth.” A healthy friendship has mainly positive interactions, whether it may be a phone call, an activity you both enjoy, or simply being there in each other’s time of need. However, if time with a friend leaves you feeling negative – maybe they spoke down on you, made you feel left out, or spread gossip/rumors – it’s time to evaluate how that friendship impacts your well-being. Friendships are not meant to be an added stressor to your life, they are meant to alleviate life’s difficult moments and bring joy.
- You support one another’s personal growth and goals. Mutual support in friendships is important but sometimes difficult. Whether you are a doctor and your friend is a struggling actress or you’re single and your friend is in a long-term relationship, the role of a friend is to act as a “cheerleader” regardless of lifestyle differences. According to a New York Times article, supporting one another can also help when “coping with stress.” A study from the Psychosom Med journal tested this theory on female college students. When asked to complete a difficult math problem, the students’ stress levels lowered in the presence of a friend. Mutual support in a friendship is a sign of shared adoration, attentiveness, and solidarity.
- The relationship is built on mutual and non-judgmental understanding. Humans are imperfect, and with that comes imperfect circumstances. Sometimes you need to cancel a plan, or you don’t see a text right away, and other times you are in an outright bad mood – this is not to be confused with consistent unreliability and cruelty. The bottom line? You cannot always be the best version of yourself (and vice versa), and this can have a negative impact on your relationships if not responded to well. A positive and healthy response in this instance is a friend who thoughtfully considers your individual personality and respects your boundaries. In relationships, you are exposed to the best and worst parts of a person – your reaction to the “worst” parts is entirely up to you.
Friendship, according to Berkley’s Greater Good Magazine, is “a lifelong endeavor and is something that people should be paying attention to at all points in life.” Unlike any other relationship, friendships are 100% a choice and are entirely in the hands of the individuals. Although there are transitional seasons where friendships appear lower in life’s hierarchy, these are relationships deserving of care and devotion.