Whether you are new to GCU or have been here for years, you probably experienced a time where you felt a sense of loneliness or like you were invisible. Not only is it challenging to start attending a new school, but for those who are states or countries away from home, homesickness and thousands of new faces seen daily can feel overwhelming. I experienced this during my freshman and sophomore years of school and fell into a poor mental state when I dwelled on it. I let myself believe that no one that I passed each day cared that I existed. I believed that it would be easier to put in airpods, focus on myself, and get through each day without reaching out and trying to make connections with others. This lie I kept telling myself contributed to my plummeting mental health that eventually led me to drop out of school. Upon returning, I have changed my entire approach to social life at GCU and hope to share my experience and advice with you.
After graduating high school and while preparing to leave for college, students are often told to soak in every moment during this unique season, as it will be the best years of their lives. With comments like this, it is nearly impossible to enter college without incredibly high expectations about all the experiences you’ll have and all the lifelong friends you’ll meet. I walked into my freshman year with high hopes, believing this would be my best decision ever. I entered a competitive medical program, and I quickly put my nose to the grindstone academically, determined to succeed. As the months progressed, I realized that the only people I knew were my roommates and people who hung out with them, and I wondered why I struggled so much trying to connect with others. I have always been extroverted and made friends everywhere I went, and I was dumbfounded by this outcome at college. However, when opportunities arose to join groups, meet new people, and participate in “the freshman experience,” I regularly declined due to overwhelming amounts of studying, homework, and stress. When I went home from freshman year, I had made some friends and memories, but I realized that I didn’t feel like myself while I was at school.
Although I tried harder to break this cycle during sophomore year, I began clinical rotations in my medical field program, which only added to the busyness of my schedule. Soon, I found myself constantly looking for ways to escape whenever I had free time. I dropped out in December 2022 and spent a semester at home before returning this fall. Since then, my perspective on this has changed entirely as a junior, and I feel like a completely different person at school. Instead of feeling invisible, I can hardly go anywhere without seeing people I know, and everyone I meet seems to be connected to friends of mine.
There are many changes I made that drastically altered my college experience, and I want to share these with you. I used to pass people by and let myself fade into the background in group scenarios, but I pushed myself to break this cycle. Now I introduce myself to everyone I can, give compliments to others when they pop into my mind, and try to make others feel seen and loved. When people invite me to events, I try as hard as I can to make time for them, instead of brushing them off or making excuses. I talk to the RAs and attend community gatherings in my building, which has not only sparked many encouraging friendships but is also a channel to be introduced to so many people I would have never met otherwise. I climb the rock wall and relish the days when I go by myself and get the opportunity to make so many unexpected connections and friendships. I can’t explain how many times this year people have said to me, “I don’t understand how you know everyone!”, and I smile to myself realizing just how far I’ve come in stepping out of my comfort zone.
The truth is that college can be daunting, even for extroverted individuals, as it is easy to feel like no one really knows or cares about you. Most college-aged individuals have had solid friend groups at home for years, and it may seem intimidating to establish this for yourself in a new place. To find your place on a college campus, it is crucial to embrace the uncomfortable by taking small steps like attending events by yourself and striking up conversations with strangers. You may want to fight experiences like this tooth and nail, but if you give it a shot, you will start recognizing people and feeling known everywhere you go. And I can tell you, it is undoubtedly worth it.