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Everyone Hates Jake Gyllenhaal Right Now, And So Should You

You may be wondering why the star of blockbuster movies “The Day After Tomorrow”, “Spiderman: Far From Home”, and “Donnie Darko”, is being infamously bashed in the media, specifically in the last few days. Well, I am here to tell you why.

Taylor Swift is known for slyly jabbing at her exes in many of her songs: Joe Jonas in “Last Kiss”, Calvin Harris in “I Forgot That You Existed”, Harry Styles in “Style”, and John Mayer in “Dear John”. Well, Jake Gyllenhaal got nearly an entire album written about him.

Taylor has always wanted to own her own music. In the last few years, she was denied that choice. When her older albums got sold to Scooter Braun against her wishes, she decided to take her lyrics, her instrumentals, and her team and make brand new copies of the actual songs.

She has been rerecording all her old albums, and Swifties are going crazy.

Fearless (Taylor’s Version), the rerecord of the first debut album, was dropped on April 9, 2021. On November 12, 2021, Red (Taylor’s Version) was heard all around the world and has broken a record for Biggest Album Debut by a Female Artist (a record she held previously with the release of Folklore), and “All Too Well Ten Minute Version” holds the number one spot on the Spotify Global Chart.

It is no secret that “All Too Well” was a fan favorite when it was first released on Red in 2012. It is the publics’ favorite heart-break song, and the 10-minute version release has shaken the world to its core.

Oh, and that song is about Jake Gyllenhaal.

If you haven’t listened to “All Too Well Ten Minute Version”, I suggest you do that now and come back to this article, because we are going to dissect these lyrics like true Swifties.

Lyric: “And I left my scarf there at your sister’s house and you’ve still got it/in your drawer/even now.”

Since the scarf is a physical symbol that fans can turn to, you can assume it is talked about a lot. Different variations of “Jake, give Taylor her scarf back” are circling on Twitter as I write, and there is no denying the amount of TikTok videos people post with conspiracy theories about what the “scarf” could actually be. Some fans go as far as saying it is a symbol of her virginity and that there are other clues in the song. I guess Taylor is good at giving us just enough to make us wonder.

Lyric: “It’s the same/after three months in the grave.”

Taylor and Jake dated between the months of November and January, between 2010 and 2011. She notes this explicitly in her lyrics, which was more than enough to confirm to fans that this song is about Jake Gyllenhaal – if the rest of the evidence wasn’t enough.

Lyric: “You said if we had been closer in age/maybe it would it would have been fine.”

Jake Gyllenhaal and Taylor Swift had a pretty big age gap in their relationship. Taylor was 20 when Jake was 29, and it is rumored that he said he could “feel the age difference” when they were together. Sounds like this lyric is screaming his name.

Lyric: “But then he watched me watch the front door all night willing you to come/and he said ‘it’s supposed to be fun, turning 21.”

Taylor Swift turned 21 on December 13th, 2010. Jake, you didn’t show up for her birthday. Can you really blame the world for hating you? No. No, you can’t.

Lyric: “But you keep my old scarf from that very first week/cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me.”

Clearly, Taylor did not get her scarf back. This is another reason, might I add, that the scarf is such a huge symbol for this song and for their relationship.

Lyric: “and I was never good at telling jokes but the punchline goes/I’ll get older but your lovers stay my age.”

Jake is currently 40 years old, and he is dating Jeanne Cadieu. She is 25 years old. They started dating in 2018, which puts her at 22 years old. Hmm…seems a little close to Taylor’s 21 doesn’t it Jake?…

If you have listened to the song, you know that the rest of the 10-minute version is full of lyrics that tear at your heart. They are all about Jake, there is no question about it. Taylor Swift is a lyrical genius and that is shown through all of her songs, past, and present, but there is a heartbreaking element to this song nobody can ignore.

Along with the song, Taylor released the “All Too Well” short film featuring Dylan O’brien and Sadie Sink, who happen to have an extremely big age gap between them as well. Coincidence? I think not.

Jake Gyllenhaal might be a good actor, but according to T-Swift fans, that doesn’t matter. You can make your own assumptions about Jake, but I am jumping on this we-hate-Jake-Gyllenhaal train immediately.

Now if you will excuse me, I am going to go listen to “All Too Well Ten Minute Version” on repeat, eat a tub of Ben and Jerry’s, and cry while I sit fully clothed in my shower.

Hi! My name is Megan Stobie and I am a junior in the BA Professional Writing program at GCU. I am from the small town of Orting, Washington and I love to write!
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