Hey girl,
How many times in the last week alone have you been asked one of the following questions? “What year are you?” or “What’s your major?” or “What do you want to do with that?” or “Do you have any new guys?” Honestly, most of these questions are well-meaning and often come from our peers. That doesn’t mean that this line of questioning doesn’t bring with it a sense of pressure to have the right answers, to give the impression that we are going somewhere, that we aren’t wasting our time, that we plan to change the world in one way or another. At first, I was frustrated. I got into college, and I chose a major, which was supposed to decide what I would do with my life. Do they not realize I am going to be in college for at least a couple more years? I would think when the questions would be continued to things like, “Where do you want to live?” or “What type of practice do you want?”
Many times, I find myself answering in the way that I know they expect me to. Nine times out of ten, I’ll simply say, “I plan to become a counselor.” The honest answer is that I am pursuing a degree that would eventually allow me to become a counselor if I feel that is where the Lord is leading me. It doesn’t help that many of us have no real experience in the fields we are looking to go into. “Well, just get an internship” is then the unhelpful advice. The thing is, this is almost always easier said than done.
All this to say that I understand why you might have the impression that you need to have it all figured out right now. It’s ok for that to feel overwhelming and like a big task, but it is not ok for you to use those feelings to excuse inaction. This time in your life is specifically designed for learning and growing. You are in the perfect place to not know. Use the resources provided for you, talk to professors, find a mentor, and look into volunteer opportunities that can help you gain experience if internships and jobs are not available.
The reality is that you don’t have to have it all figured out because you are figuring it out. You are learning the questions to ask. You are learning how to fail and get back up. You are learning what it actually entails to be an adult, to make sure you are fed, have clean clothes, and get to places on time. You are learning what you like about your field and what you could never do. You are learning that the world is a big place, full of lots of opportunities. It’s ok for that to feel both exciting and terrifying.
When someone asks you one of the default questions, know that there is nothing wrong with saying that you are figuring it out. You do not have to prove anything to them. Your worth is not based on an arbitrary measure of how much you produce or how much you can make. As a Christian I believe your worth comes from being created uniquely by God. Even if you don’t believe that, know that your value is inherent simply because you are you.
With love,
Your Big Sis