Gary Chapman’s, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Commitment to Your Mate, is a nonfiction originally published in 1992. The Baptist pastor outlined five generals outlining how love is expressed and experienced in relationships. Since it was published, the concept has gained more and more popularity, inspiring many sequels to the book. Whether it’s through words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, receiving gifts, or physical touch, recognizing your partner’s love language can strengthen your shared connection.
A great way to make Valentine’s day special this year is to show your love in a way that resonates the most with their primary love language.
Words of Affirmation
Regarded as the most common of the five love languages, many people find fulfillment from hearing their partner’s emotions and thoughts.
A cost-free activity for words of affirmation is simply writing love letters to each other. Take the time to write what you love and appreciate about the other person. Love letters are a nearly-lost tradition that never cease to be romantic and can be kept forever.
If words aren’t your forte, another idea is to recreate a date. Maybe it’s your first date, or one that stood out amongst the others. You and your partner can spend Valentine’s day reminiscing about your relationship while building new memories together. Whatever you do, the key to words of affirmation is making sure that your partner knows how much you value and love them.
“For love, we will climb mountains, cross seas, traverse desert sands, and endure hardships.”
Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
Acts of Service
People who have acts of service as their primary love language feel the most appreciated when their partner is performing thoughtful actions for them. This can be something as simple as doing some chores, running errands, or taking an extra task off their plate.
After helping get some of the necessary tasks off their plate, put a delicious meal onto it. Surprise your partner with a home cooked meal, or even take them out for dinner. If you wanted to do something together, many places offer cooking classes – keep a lookout for different specials for Valentine’s day.
Although on the pricier side, Sur La Table offers in-store as well as online cooking classes, perfect for couples.
quality Time
“Quality time does not mean that we have to spend our together moments gazing into each other’s eyes. It means that we are doing something together and that we are giving our full attention to the other person.”
Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
Chapman puts it best when talking about the essence of quality time; for some, fulfillment of quality time comes from just being in same room together.
The perfect fun and free date night is spending the night in. Gather up blankets and pillows, and turn your living room or bedroom into a blanket fort. Watch a movie, play some board games, or just enjoy each other’s presence (snacks are a requirement). If you’re struggling for ideas, you can look online for designing the perfect fort – Pinterest is always a great resource. A blanket fort date night is a perfect way to reawaken your inner child while simultaneously enjoying a cozy, romantic date with your partner.
Receiving Gifts
For those who find gift-giving stressful, there can be a lot of anxiety in finding the perfect gift for someone you love. Many couples have found a fun and cost-effective solution with the Target Date Night Challenge. Popularized on TikTok, this challenge involves picking items for each other on shopping lists and exchanging them.
All you have to do is grab your partner, create a shopping list, pick out the items, and do your gift exchange. Pinterest offers a wide selection of shopping list templates, or you can create one together as a couple. If you’re looking for more ideas check out #DateNightChallenge on TikTok to see how other couples have made the most out of this challenge.
“Material things are no replacement for human, emotional love.”
Gary Chapman, The Give Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
PHysical Touch
This is the second most common love language, and the simplest way to fulfill it is by getting cuddled up on the couch together. Spend your Valentine’s Day in each other’s arms with a bowl of popcorn, binging your favorite movies or series. Plenty of new movies and shows are coming to streaming services this month if you’re looking for something new. On Max, you can check out Florence Pugh and Andrew Garfield’s We Live in Time, and Sara Bareilles’ Tony-nominated Broadway performance in, Waitress: The Musical. You could also check out Netflix’s new rom-coms La Dolce Villa (starring Scott Foley) or Kinda Pregnant (starring Amy Schumer).
Make this Valentine’s Day a little extra special, without spending a lot by trying out any of these five ideas. If you’re not sure what you or your partner’s love language, you can always take the online quiz. The key to lasting and loving relationship is understanding and embracing how each other feel loved.