For those of you who haven’t been on Facebook for a while, recently an article has been circulating around from a gaming website that criticizes women with short hair. As a woman who recently chopped off her luxurious locks in favor of a shorter bob, I felt compelled to write my own response to the article. I strongly suggest you read the preceding article in order to understand some points in my letter.
Here is a link to it: http://www.returnofkings.com/26763/girls-with-short-hair-are-damaged
I must confess that I have fallen to the ways of the “bitchiest work colleagues, the most difficult cashier, the most confrontational, aggressive cunts in bars”. With an inferior intellect and no man to enlighten me, I walked into a beauty salon and lost all my beauty by cutting my hair. Before I read your letter, I didn’t know why I did it. It wasn’t long enough to donate, and sure I got the occasional headache due to the weight and thickness, but that was no reason to give up all my “bangability”. But when I was shown your letter, it all became clear to me.
I, being a woman, am a copycat. It’s a biological fact. I saw other women who were cutting their locks out, and I just had to do it too. I was trying to emulate women like that awful Jennifer Lawrence, who lies to women and treats them like people who should love their shapes no matter what, and Anne Hathaway, one of the leading ladies in Hollywood affiliated with the charity the Step Up Women’s network. Or worse, perhaps I was thinking of Emma Watson, the actress who portrayed Hermione Granger in Harry Potter and the woman who is generally accepted as the hottest woman on the planet by many a guy on the internet. I desired to be like them so desperately that I copied their hair because I have no sense of my own identity. I did not realize that it would be at the expense of all my value as a woman.
How blessed I am that you have come to me to show me the evil of my ways. Now I am eager to pledge myself to the cause of educating women about their lack of personal identity and their exclusive status as objects and tools of men’s sexual pleasure.
First, I shall refrain from leaving my room, as my short haired appearance is hateful to men, and therefore, an abomination against my sex. It goes without saying that the kitchen serves as an extension of my room in this addendum.
Second, because I cannot leave my room, I will have to drop out of college immediately. No harm done there, as I am of the female persuasion and no good could come out of my pursuit for higher education.
Third, should I have to leave my room, in case of a fire or the pressing needs of a man, I will be sure to cover my unacceptable hair style, possibly with a scarf—obviously pink or purple, as those are the only colors women should wear, as it clearly defines them as female and denotes their inferiority to men—but more than likely a brown paper bag.
Fourth, I will have to end my healthy, stable four year relationship so that he may find someone who is not damaged, and who is not “more abrasive, more masculine and more deranged” than the average woman.
Fifth, when my hair grows back to a suitable length (at least to my buttocks), I must completely embrace my status as an object of men’s desires and refrain from wearing clothes; that way if a man wants to exercise his genetically proven dominance over me, it will be easier for him to take me.
Sixth, and this may go without saying but I must get rid of all outside contact with the world around me, for it was the perversion of women like Jennifer Lawrence and Anne Hathaway and their message of “I’m a woman and a person” that damaged me in the first place.
I vow to do all of the above, and more, not for myself but for the men of the world who need a steady supply of acceptable women to satisfy their sexual needs. On that note, I am terribly sorry that your own experiences have not been satisfactory. In order to provide my fellow females with insight on what went wrong, allow me to analyze your no doubt common experiences.
You were right to have broken up with the woman who harbored rape fantasies as she was detrimentally confused as to who should be dominant in that situation. The man should always be dominant in those fantasies and she should have requested that you communicate your preferences to her so that she could satisfy you unquestionably.
As for the woman who performed services for you while texting another man, I cannot find a fault in this woman’s actions. She is only acting in a way that is right for our sex in that she is servicing as many men as possible with her body. After all, it doesn’t belong to her; it belongs to you and every other man on Earth.
And the last woman ought to be ashamed of herself for judging people based on preconceived notions, and for residing in the same house as a woman of ill-repute. We should not house prostitutes, but instead drag them out and expose them to the world. That way they may be stoned to death. Women who charge men for sexual favors are denying men of their basic right to every woman’s body. Only after we have killed every prostitute, will you finally feel free to accost any woman on the street you choose for sex without the danger of obliged reciprocation.
I can only assume that you’ve named yourself after the great Thutmose III whose harlot step- mother Hatshepsut no doubt had an acute case of “short hair bitchiness” as she is considered one of the greatest female leaders of the ancient world, and perhaps the modern world as well. If she had any sense, she would’ve put her dress back on and let her infant stepson rule over that great empire. I’m sure that would have benefitted Egypt much more than being led by a woman. It is my sincere hope that this post will help other women come over to your way of thinking, which you clearly feel comfortable expressing, since you have developed an entirely false identity around it. Thank god we live in a time where there are women, such as my humble self, that are learning to accept our sub ordinance to men. And thank god there are men, such as your eminence, and all the men on the Return of the Kings website. By the way, I can only guess the name is an allusion to The Lord of the Rings’ The Return of the King, a fantastic movie featuring a female character that does not push gender boundaries at all.
You may notice that about two weeks ago, there was a Monday where not a lot of people showed up for work. It was actually a national holiday celebrating a man who dreamed of equality for all people. I can only assume that you all will be working since his “dream” is in direct conflict with your own purpose.
I for one have my own dream. I dream about the day when we live in a world where women will be judged not solely on their “bangability” but on the “content of their character”. A world bereft of the “friend zone” as it implies that a man should be rewarded sexually for being a decent person. I dream of a world where a female character (book, movie or show) is not praised merely for being “strong” but for being well-written and human. I dream of a world where women are able to do, feel, and think things according to their own preferences, without the constant danger of people telling her that she is doing it for a man, or, worse, that she should be doing it for a man. I dream of this world for my daughter—so secure in her value as a person that she won’t ever come home crying because a little boy has called her ugly. And for my son who will never feel obligated to be stronger or faster than other boys, because he knows himself so well.
If I were capable of possessing your massive intellect and this was a year that came after a great decades-long struggle of countless women from all walks of society towards equal rights, I would be able to express this dream. Also I would state that your argument is indicative of a complex that stems from some defect in your male parts. But as you and your followers have set the male gender back into the Stone Age again and I am but an idiotic feeble woman, I cannot say anything of that sort.
I only hope that you and yours have a blessed day.