Relationships in college are inherently exciting because it is a time where you are discovering who you really are. It can be so refreshing having someone there who’ll be there for you as you are making this discovery. But what if the person is not physically there?
I have been fortunate enough to be in a relationship coming up on five years this October. And while I do not claim to be an expert in any fashion, I do know some things about being in a relationship. So here are my five rules for long distance relationships, one for each year of experience.
Always Appreciate- This one is self-explanatory. Obviously if you have elected to be in this relationship, you need to have some level of admiration and affection for that person. Never let them forget how much you appreciate them being there for you, if not physically, but in spirit.
Be considerate– Just like in any relationship, being able to step outside of numero uno for a second and consider another person is important. Be familiar with the other person’s schedule and be respectful of their time. Set rules for each other and always be mindful of them. Some people may be fine with certain things that others are not fine with, and that’s okay. For example, some people may be fine with their significant other going out and partying every night, and others’ aren’t. It is important to come to an agreement between yourselves, so that you do not
Communication, Communication, Communication– Thank God we don’t live in any decade before the invention of the personal cell phone and texting. But just because we are able to have an ongoing conversation in almost real time, doesn’t necessarily mean that we’re always communicating. Sometimes it is nice to pretend that we do live in a Jane Austen novel and write long letters to each other, or just short notes.
Don’t Dwell– There are a lot of feelings that come along with being in a long distance relationship that are valid, but sometimes extremely unfounded. I tend to get mad at him for not texting me, even when I know perfectly well he has class. What you need to do is assess your feelings and ask yourself whether it is really worth arguing over.
Enjoy– That’s the whole point of being in a relationship in the first place right? Is to enjoy the time you spend together and the memories you share? So make every moment count, especially the little ones.
If you find it exceedingly difficult to do any of these things, it may be best if you did not continue your long distance relationship. Knowing your limits and being respectful of yourself. People in long distance relationships always get grief. They ask me why I would commit myself to one person, why wouldn’t I want to play the field. My answer would always be because I deeply care for this person and I genuinely want to be a part of their life and I want them to be a part of mine. And really that’s why anyone stays in any relationship, I think.