Kayla Bacon-Dramatically Skipping Down Road

Unaffiliated: Why I Chose to Leave My Sorority

There are some life experiences that alter your perspective forever. For a lot of people that might be the death of a family member, the birth of a child, or a diagnosis. I am sure you can close your eyes and think of an experience that did this for you. I had one of these experiences last semester, or more like a series of events. Without disclosing everything, let’s just say that I got lost in the woods mentally and literally. Some bad things happened, I got in some trouble, and my mom ended up flying down to school to help me. 

After all of this, I had a renewed passion for finding things that make me happy. Not things to build my resume or make me look cool or attractive, things that just make me happy for the sake of being happy. As I was evaluating my life, I noticed a pattern. Every time I had to attend something for my sorority I would start to have intense spells of anxiety. I asked some members of the sorority about it and I was told to tough it out and that it would get better. After spending time with my mom, I realized how little being in a sorority mattered if it did not make me happy. 

I joined the sorority because I needed a support system. I needed people to build me up and make me feel loved. But there were only a rare few who did that, and even then I was the one who had to put all the effort into the relationship. I was exhausted. I just wanted them to want me and this preoccupied my mind so much that it led to anxiety. 

I have spent my whole life choosing other people over myself, trying to make other people happy at all costs. But when I emerged from the mental and physical woods, I realized that I can’t make other people happy if I am not happy. I can’t make decisions about my life and my time without putting myself first, at least some of the time. 

At their best, sororities are a close knit group of loving supporters, and at their worst they are a financial burden that can wreak havoc on your mental health. No sorority is perfect and no person is either. I did not find my people in my sorority and that is okay, but I had to make the choice to step out on my own. Just make sure that you do not sink your time, money, and sanity into something that offers you nothing in return.