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Experiences

The “Friendzone” From a Girl’s Perspective

Men often talk about how awful it is to be put in the friend zone. What they do not realize is how awful it feels as a woman to realize you never actually had a true friend. What appeared to be a “nice guy” was just someone looming over you, waiting for a chance to sleep with you. It sucks. Honestly, the friend zone is not a bad thing if you truly value a woman for who they are, but it seems that the term “friendzone” was coined by men who victimized themselves. These men might even try to use friendship as a way to get close to a woman and are insulted when they are seen as just a friend. 

In my experience, all the guys that I have friendzoned gradually disappear when I end up in a relationship with another person, or when they realize no matter how nice they are, it will not change the way I feel. No matter how many times they try, it still does not change the way I see them as a friend. Sometimes a man is so hurt when he is only seen as a friend that he goes as far as hurting you in return. You would be surprised how quickly men stop the “nice guy” facade when they realize they do not have a chance of sleeping with you. Men might guilt-trip women for friendzoning them, yet fail to understand how weird and hurtful it is to realize your “friend” was only being nice because they wanted something from you. 

Have you ever heard the saying “nice guys always finish last?” Well, if you end your friendship with a woman because she did not have the same feelings for you, or you become hostile after not receiving the outcome you wanted, or you guilt-trip and victimize yourself, are you really that nice of a guy? Being nice, kind, and a good friend is not the equivalent to flirting and wanting relations. Oftentimes, a man will pretend to be nice to a woman, and when she does not sleep with him it is as if they are a victim of a huge injustice. When was it implied that if you are nice to a woman that we owe you something in return? That is simply not how it works. Men need to understand that there is not a checklist or a formula on how to “get out of the friendzone” or how to “get a woman to sleep with you.” Women owe men nothing. 


To the men who get “friendzoned,” a woman calling you her genuine friend is one of the greatest compliments you can receive. There are many great men out there who make for charming boyfriends but sucky friends. One day a woman probably will not want to be with the man that was a sucky friend, but they would want to be the man that was a good friend to them first. From my experience, a platonic friendship between a man and women is much more substantial. In the end, women appreciate the true nice guys and the true friendships significantly more than the pretenders, if that was not already obvious.

Lucy Cruz

Furman '22

I am a female Senior Communication Studies, Media Studies major at Furman University. I am passionate about body positivity and self-love in this photoshopped world. I am also an advocate for the fight against human trafficking. My roots are in Mexico and TX, but I am living in Upstate SC.
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