It’s 2018, ladies. We have too many women in power these days to not speak up for what we want! While we can go around blaming our partners for our dissatisfaction, let’s grab the dildo by the base and really take charge of our own sexual satisfaction. This is your sex life we are talking about here, so let’s make it fun!
Rule #1 Speak up, boo. He ain’t a mind reader…
If the idea of having an honest conversation with any partner about your wants in the sack makes you stress-sweat, you should probably rethink having sex with them in the first place. We all, hopefully, know that the best sex comes from letting your guard down and feeling totally comfortable with your partner. Tell them what you like and what you don’t like.
It may seem like you can only achieve this with a boyfriend or girlfriend of many years, but the truth is, you can establish this comfort level by simply initiating an open dialogue about what each partner enjoys. This can work with a one-night stand or a boyfriend of three years. Let’s be honest, there are things that our “significant others” have tried to do that make us physically cringe and maybe make us want to vomit a little. But, the real question is, did you speak up and tell them that you didn’t like it?
Rule #2 Talk now, orgasm later…
Seriously, stop overthinking it and just ask your partner what they like! Once you open the dialogue, you will see that all other aspects of your sex life will improve. Do you like to role play? Is being blindfolded your thing? Don’t be afraid to pull a Kanye at the VMAs and demand what you want. In return, your man will not only be turned on, but will begin to ask you for things he wants. Not only does this conversation reveal each partners’ desires, but neither you nor your lover will have the stress of having to guess what the other enjoys.
Rule #3 Do your research…
If your partner, by chance, asks you what turns you on and all you have to say is, “uhhhmm…” then first things first – cut the s**t. We all know what we like whether we want to admit it or not. The answer to this question is everywhere. Is it the hoists-me-up-in-the-rain-and-pins-me-against-the-wall-passionate stuff from The Notebook that gets you going? Or maybe you’re more of a wow-the-way-you-eat-that-Sully’s-bagel-makes-me-think-you-can-eat-ass kind of girl. If you like more assertive partners (I mean a little ass slappin’ and hair pullin’ never hurt anybody), then don’t grin and bear your way through sex with someone that treats you like a delicate flower.
You are never going to feel completely fulfilled with your sex life until you get what you want, and to get what you want, you need to ask for what you want. Trust me, if you don’t speak up, you’ll never let that person show you that they are able to satisfy your needs. Most partners are just trying to make sure you are having a good time, so give them the opportunity to impress you. Let a guy blow your mind instead of blowing him once in a while.