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Sex + Relationships

QueerPlatonic Relationships: One Woman’s Experience

Currently, I consider myself single. I’m not looking for a committed partnership because honestly I have no idea what direction my life is after this semester, and it would be unfair to expect a person to commit to uncertainty. However, that does not rid me of my insatiable (and completely legitimate) desire to be loved and my need for attention. Enter the queerplatonic relationship. 

A queerplatonic relationship is basically any relationship that blurs the lines between romantic and non-romantic. There are no real requirements other than that. They can be monogamous and committed, or polygamous and open. They may be long-term and non-sexual or short-term and only sexual. It’s up to the people in the relationship to decide, as per usual. I’ll give you some examples from my life. 

My first relationship of this sort was only sexual. We weren’t really friends and only hung out after sex. We talked a bit after classes but nothing apart from that.  That’s a strong representation of one type of queerplatonic relationship. In all honesty, it wasn’t for me, but it works well for some people. 

I’m currently in two different queerplatonic relationships now. They are very similar in regards to their level of commitment. My relationships are both very casual and essentially open, but one is much more physical than the other. In one relationship, we see each other as very close friends who kiss and cuddle and are generally very physical. We don’t go on dates but we hang out quite often. In the other relationship, we see each other almost as romantic partners but not quite. We go on dates and kiss in public but don’t consider ourselves to be committed. In both cases, my partners and I care about each other and respect each other.


Cassidy Schuchmann is a junior psychology major with a medicine, health, and culture minor at Furman University. In addition to being a writer for HerCampus, she's the Vice President of Leadership for the Alpha Eta Nu chapter of Alpha Phi Omega, the Vice president of the Furman BodyProject, a student member of the Student Conduct Board, and the student representative for the Cultural Life Program committee and the Diversity Subcommittee on LGBT+ action. Her goals for the future are to obtain a master's degree in bioimaging and become an interventional radiologist. Her passions include: serving others, social justice, promoting body acceptance, feminism, cooking, and dogs.
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