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Obsessive Exes: As Told Through Kim & Kanye

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Furman chapter.

If you have been on Instagram in the past month, you have probably seen one of Kanye West’s many posts about Kim Kardashian, their children together, or Kim Kardashian’s new boyfriend, Pete Davidson. As a refresher, Kim and Kanye were married for about six years and in 2021, Kim filed for divorce. Very publicly, Kanye has not been happy. He has been known, also, to have outbursts via social media about Kim, members of their family, and other celebrities. Often people laugh and brush off everything he says, but this situation with Kim is different. 

When Kim began a relationship with Pete Davidson, Kanye went off on Instagram about it. At first, I admit, his posts made me laugh. He was posting photoshopped photos of Pete Davidson and himself on the Civil War movie poster as adversaries and would only refer to Pete as “SKETE” for some unknown reason. He would write the most erratic captions that had everyone laughing and saying, “He is out of his mind.” However, as he continued to post private text messages, lengthy captions, and photos upon photos, his outrage became less funny and more concerning. People on the internet began to weigh in, claiming that Kim and Pete should obtain extra security as Kanye’s actions are reflective of a dangerously obsessive ex. It made me stop and think. I had detached Kanye West and Kim Kardashian from being actual people and failed to recognize how scary this situation is. Hypothetically, if my ex boyfriend began obsessively posting about my boyfriend and myself – I would be terrified. I turned to the internet to learn more about the warning signs of a dangerously obsessive ex and was scared to realize how closely it aligns with Kanye’s actions. 

According to psychologytoday.com, there are 3 stages of obsession: the absorbed stage, the agitated stage, and the aggressive stage. Let’s break it down in relation to Kim and Kanye’s relationship.

Stage #1: The Absorbed Stage

This stage involves the extreme infatuation a person has with his partner. It involves showering her with gifts, moving quickly with the relationship, and subtly controlling his partner by telling her what to wear, amongst other things. Now, if you know Kim and Kanye, you know that Kanye was (self-proclaimed) obsessed with Kim before they began dating. When they began to date – it only accelerated. He showered her with lavish gifts, flowers and grand gestures, proposing to her with a $3 million ring. Yes, their circumstances are unique because they both are multi-millionaires; however, this still is a sign of obsession. After five months of dating, Kim was pregnant – shining a light on a quick moving relationship. Not to mention, Kanye was widely criticized throughout their relationship for constantly going through Kim’s closet and telling her what she needed to get rid of and what she needed to wear. Kim was Kanye’s “muse”, so he controlled what she wore and was known to make his voice heard if he did not like something she was wearing. This brings us to the agitated stage. 

Stage #2: The Agitated Stage

This stage involves the continuation of obsession through a partner wanting to constantly control his partner. Whether it be through constant phone calls or texts to threatening violent acts if you do not listen to his demands – the agitated stage is a frightening one to be in. Kim Kardashian, unfortunately, saw this all too often in and out of her marriage with Kanye. He yelled at Kim right before the Met Gala because “her sexiness hurts his soul.” Kim had been wanting Kanye to ease her anxieties about the event and instead he made it about himself, leaving Kim in tears, because he could not handle others seeing Kim be attractive. 

Presently, we see just how agitated Kanye can get now that Kim is out of their relationship and has moved on. Kanye originally denied Kim’s request to be single in January of 2022, as he wants to continue to control her. Via Instagram, Kanye blames Pete for destroying his family and has posted numerous pleas for God to bring his family back together. Not to mention, he posted numerous text conversations between Kim and himself, saying that he is her number one fan and will always be her number one fan. In the same photo, he neglects to acknowledge that Kim fears for the safety of her family, herself, and her boyfriend. Kanye believes he is fighting for his family as he brings up old memories and old photos of the couple, and he says that they will be back together (which is completely ignoring everything Kim is saying). This type of behavior is extremely concerning and not something to be mocked, as Kanye’s obsessive behavior shows signs of someone who will do anything to get his way, even if it hurts the ones he loves most. 

Stage #3: The Aggressive Stage

This is the stage I fear for Kim as she recently was declared legally single. I hope Kanye does not get to this level, but his actions do lead me to believe it could be possible. This stage is when the relationship is officially over. Calls, texts, and emails to you and your loved ones will be non-stop. Showing up at your home, place of work, or places they’ll know you’ll be is likely. Sadly, stalking, threats of harm, and physical violence are also known to happen in this stage. The concerning nature of this is that just this month, Kim successfully is legally single. Kanye no longer has a hold on her, despite denying her request back in January to be free from him. As of March 4th, Kanye already produced a music video burying Pete Davidson alive and purchased a house next to Kim Kardashian. Now, his actions are directly threatening. Kanye has officially moved to the aggressive stage, and I fear he could be violent to Kim, Pete, or himself. Just because these people are celebrities does NOT mean they are not capable of experiencing or doing acts of physical violence. 

In 2020, 61% of women killed by men were killed by a current or former partner. Moving forward, this situation should not have memes about it nor should people be laughing about it. Kanye has crossed the line from being a devoted dad and husband to be an obsessive ex who won’t let his family move on. He needs help and needs to be held accountable for his actions, rather than encouraged to continue. With all of the information you were presented with today, realize that even the wealthiest of people are at risk. No amount of money, power, or fame can fully prevent someone from being at danger by the hands of her former partner.

Savannah Hobbie is a senior Politics & International Affairs and Communications double major at Furman University. She hopes to attend law school after college. Aside from Her Campus, she is on the executive boards for both Panhellenic Council and the Chi Omega sorority at Furman. She is a mentor for Ladies of Distinction and is an orientation leader. She also has two internships serving as a social media manager. Her passions include self-care, writing about vulnerable topics, beauty, spreading love, and hyping people up!