Love Language Logic

Sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves and our relationships is try to understand them better. I am not asking you to take a walk in someone’s shoes, but instead, I want you to take the time to understand your peers’ love languages. Expressing affection is so unique to each individual; you just can’t love everyone in the same way. We have to mold our emotions and actions to fit every person in our lives. 

People often get frustrated with their friends or partner because they feel as though they aren’t getting what they need. I often hear wives complain because their spouse does not frequently complement them or use affectionate language. While sometimes this behavior is toxic, other times this just shows a difference in love language. For example, your partner doesn’t use affectionate language, but they always clean the dishes after dinner and take the trash out without asking. In this scenario, your spouse’s love language is acts of service. Once we begin to understand how our partners express their love, we can better appreciate their love. Although it sounds cliche, everyday tasks, like cleaning dishes, can begin to signify love. 

There are 5 love languages: words of affirmation, quality time, gift giving, acts of service, and physical touch. People who have the words of affirmation love language need to hear words of kindness, thanks, and appreciation. If this is you, you enjoy hearing your friends or partner say “thank you,” and/or “I really appreciated that.” 

Next, some people have a quality time love language. Therefore, they enjoy having their partner’s full attention while spending time together. If this is you, you likely appreciate doing activities with your loved ones and you’re always looking for the next fun plan to do together. 

Some people see gifts as an expression of love. To them, the act of giving a gift shows thought and consideration. 

As mentioned before, many people perform acts of service to show their love. This could be anything from making breakfast to doing the laundry to signify love. Acts of service might be the least obvious expression of love; therefore, it makes it that much more important to understand.

Lastly, many people use physical touch to express love. If this is you, you are likely the PDA go-getter. You enjoy hugs, holding hands, and kissing. 

Everyone loves differently. I encourage you to understand your own expression of love. You might love someone differently than how you would like to be loved, the same goes for your partner and friends. Have those conversations. Take the time to get to know yourself and others. This can help you better understand what you need from a relationship, but it can also show you all the ways that you are loved. 

Find your love language here.