The holidays are here, and with them they string along the three worst words in the English language: it’s cuffing season. I could go into a rant about how completely damaging this phrase is to healthy relationships, how it pressures people to find that special someone to sit by the fire and drink cocoa with (even if that special someone is especially toxic), and how it blatantly shames people not in relationships. But, that’s not the point of this article. Instead, I’m going to tell you why the holiday season is the best time to evaluate your relationships and choose to remain (or become) intentionally uncuffed.
The holidays seem like they were built for couples. Cozy nights in are encouraged, it’s too cold to dress like the sexy single lady you are at parties, and there is no doubt that every family member at every dinner, party, and celebration will ask you if you will have a New Year’s kiss this year. It’s easy to get sucked into that pressure, to feel like you need a significant other, any significant other, to be your puppy following you around at family gatherings to show off.
But the thing is, that’s not what holidays are about.
College students especially have very little time to spend with loved ones. Between classes, clubs, and our own social lives, being able to get away from the pressure and be surrounded by people who genuinely love us for the sole reason that we exist is a rarity. So why is it that we feel pressured to get into, or keep, relationships that don’t bring us true fulfillment? This is why I am advocating for people to be intentionally uncuffed this cuffing season.
It is time to take control of your relationship. Use the winter holidays as a time to ask yourself, “Is this truly someone who is providing me with a satisfying relationship?” Focus instead on what you need this holiday season, whether that be closer friendships, a deeper connection with your family, or a healthier relationship with yourself. There is no reason to feel the need to rush into a relationship that you don’t need, won’t help you, and doesn’t “spark joy”. That’s right, the holiday season is the perfect season to Marie-Kondo your entire life.
Not only should you focus your energy on yourself during the holidays, but you should also recognize that hanging on to your current relationship, simply because you want a holiday love story, is doing you more harm than good. That’s just one more Thanksgiving dinner distracted from the yummy turkey by the awkwardness of your random relationship, one more Christmas you’ll have with someone who will eventually be part of your past, one more New Year’s kiss that will never become anything more.
That also means it may be the perfect time to pull the plug on your relationship that is dying out. Don’t extend the inevitable simply for the ease of putting up a façade of happiness for the holidays, because I promise you will feel nothing but guilt for doing so. If you are reluctant, nervous, or frustrated about having to spend Thanksgiving with your S.O., then maybe it’s time to end things.
So, this cuffing season, I challenge you to try and focus on yourself, and surround yourself with love that is meaningful to you, whatever that means. It’s okay if your Christmas looks like you and your dog, watching reruns of Rudolph in footie pajamas. It’s okay if your Thanksgiving is you and your parents eating dry turkey in sweatpants. I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you are not cuffed. You are not a prisoner.