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“hey girly your boyfriend is cheating on you”

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Furman chapter.

Getting cheated on sucks. That really is the only way to put it. I would know because I’ve been cheated on, and I didn’t even really like the person I was dating all that much.

When I found out, I was hurt, angry, embarrassed, but most of all I felt less than. I wondered why I wasn’t good enough and what was wrong with me. Was I too much? Too little? Was I not pretty enough? Funny enough? Smart enough? It destroyed my self-esteem. I felt like a fool. It didn’t help that he denied it, continuously lied about it, and sobbed, begging me to stay with him. He acted like he was the victim, and I was the bad guy.  

For a while, I struggled to trust my decisions. I had been so wrong about trusting that person that I wondered if other decisions I had made were wrong too. Additionally, I built walls up emotionally and told myself I’d never let someone else in. I was convinced that no guy would ever be deserving of my trust again. It really distorted my perception of love, dating, and relationships.

Now having some distance from the situation, it’s very clear that he did me a favor. I was stuck in a horrible, toxic relationship where I was being lied to, manipulated, isolated, and verbally abused. I am ashamed about what I put up with because I was too scared to leave and be alone. Him cheating is what gave me the courage to leave. He never deserved me nor my trust in the first place. After showing me that time and time again, this pushed me over the edge to do what I needed to. 

I had really lost sight of who I was as a person, and all the relationships in my life suffered because of that. Little by little, I felt like I gained pieces of myself that I had lost. I rekindled relationships that were important to me. I built myself back up and rediscovered who I was. I became strong on my own.

Although I once felt like I was too damaged to be loved, I am in a relationship now that has shown me how far from true that was. I have never felt more loved and I know that he always has my best interest at heart. 

If you’ve been cheated on, I hope you know how worthy of love you are. Just because one person is incapable of seeing how great you are and how highly you should be treated, doesn’t make that any less true. It is a reflection on them and not yourself. No one should ever make you feel less than. I hope you don’t give up on love and build up walls around your heart. There’s someone out there that will love you unconditionally and would never dare cheat on you.